~So don't cry to me ohhh baby. Your future is in a Oblong Box!~

I should kill every last one of them.

I should find them. In their homes. While they sleep. Take that which is precious to them in the middle of the night. Make them dance. Make the fucking “Saw” movies look like a god damn Disney musical. Make the fucking meat puppets dance...

That's what I should do. I could do it. I know people. I know people who could make a lot of people disappear. I left that life behind. I left a lot of things behind. Everyone thinks I am hiding behind this mask because I am afraid for people to know me. You don't get it. Everyone thinks I'm hiding.

I'm saving you...

Because whose behind this mask...

The face under everyone elses...

Is the worst of us.

I should let it out...

...but would she hate me if I did?

I haven't really moved from the hospital room. The nurses have finally gotten over the mask. They know who I am. They all start to treat me like a person. I guess even thru the burlap they can see my pain. People who have this idea that I am a monster, but if they spend time around me I do have moments of being a human being. This is one of those times. For the first few days they didn't even want to come look at me. They'd rather talk to Shad, or anyone else, than the guy who hasn't left. But they know this look. I think it was Robin Williams who said it in “Good Will Hunting”... “Visiting hours don't apply to you.”

I wish this was just a visit. I keep looking over at her. I wish I could wake her up. I want to shake her awake and yell something silly to make her smile. I look around, and for once I don't see anyone. I take off my glove. I actually let her feel my real hand. Not the one I hide from the world. I look down at us. Could it be that we could actually be a real couple if I didn't have to do this. If I could just escape the confines of who I have chosen to be. Is this my destiny. To only be able to do this...just this...

The beeping noise of a hospital. I hate it. I hate the smell. I hate how everything is white. I hate the color white. It's part of why there isn't any except my shirt on this uniform of mine. I don't like it. It reminds of my past. A past I've buried. A face I've lost. A life I gave up. Now as I sit here flashes keep coming back to me like PTSD for a war veteran...

“Give into it. That's it! That's what we need!”

I know Shadow will take care of Jace. That I am not afraid of. When he talked to me last I realized that Jace had woken up something. You see, contrary to popular belief...Shadow is a world champion in the making. He just needs the right motivation. Just like Dorian. Just like Mia. Just like me. After everything that's happened you can guess the last thing on my mind is a world title shot for a federation that for all intents and purposes I own. It weighs on my mind. How will the stock holders handle it if I beat MJ? Will the claims of my nepotism take more root? Will Silas Atoria ask for another world title shot...these questions and more don't mean fucking dick right now as I watch the heart monitor and hope to see some variation. Give me something...Give me something...

“You can go further son! Give me something! GIVE IT ALL!”

I grip Mia's hand, and then I hear someone walking. In a panic I put my glove back on. This is to close to the knife. In Shad's mansion...I'd be more apt for this. I could even walk around without my mask in my room. I trust him not to have a camera in there...dear god I hope he hasn't put one in there...what I like to dance naked to the barney dance like any other good ol 'merican...Damn it. Even my jokes are not all there. This sucks. I look over as the nurse walks in. She smiles at me as I let go of Mia's hand just long enough for her to check her vitals.

“You know. We could wheel in a cot for you.”

“It's fine...I'm use to sleeping in a coffin.” I AM SOOOO NOT CREEPY!!! Idiot! “I mean...um...deprivation tank...yeah...”

She laughs. For a moment I thought it was Mia and I light up, then I realize it's the nurse. I'm glad I made her laugh. To much pain in the world.

“You know the other nurses were so scared of you the first few days here. Then I actually showed them some of the old episodes of CWF.”

“The one where Fonzie jumps the shark is my favorite.”

“Oh mine to...right into Jacehole's...well jacehole...”I laugh, not the BWAHAHAHA I do, but a genuine laugh. It's been what...four...five days...I don't even remember the last time I actually laughed since this happened. “They all were scared, and then they realized that you do care about her. We see that a lot in here. I hope no one's been treating you badly.”

“We're both used to being treated badly, but you all have been nice.” I gesture to Mia. I just wanna pick her up and take her away. “So...any word?”

“Nothing as of yet...There is a lot of swelling still thou. She just needs to take her time.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“You know what...” She smiles at me and winks.

“No one here judges. Everyone comes in here broken and we try to send them out a little bit better. That's what we're here for.

“That's what I'm here for...”

I take a breath. The anxiety. The rage. The fury. I guess the nurse noticed. She puts her hand on my shoulder and for a moment I let it out in a look and she backs away.

“Sorry...I...I don't like hospitals.”

“Understandable. I'm going to go get you something to drink okay?”

“Thank you...”She leaves and I sit back down. Beep boop. Like R2-D2...This is the life now. Beep in...Boop out. I squeeze her hand and see what looks like a smile. And that's it...it's just a flash of light from outside that makes it change to my eyes. I can't stand this! I can't just sit here and do nothing! The chair is out of my hands and against the wall. I sigh...and I look down.

My hand is still in her's. I smile and let her go for a moment while I get the chair. The nurse comes back in with a soda for me. She puts it down. She looks over at the wall.

“I'll pay for it...”

“Can I make a suggestion?” I look up at her. “You might want to take a walk or so for a bit. A change of scenery might break the tension.”

“I'll move when she moves...” The nurse nods and leaves. I sigh. I will have to leave soon. I got a show to run. I got a title shot to win. I've got revenge incoming...for both of us. They tried to take my Mia...I'll take their careers and make them wish I put them in here!


Here we are again. Is this the third or forth time. I don't even remember, but I know you do. That first match plays in my mind a lot. Three people against what would become my family, and out of those three...

You're the only one who is not a disappointment. Jones and Styles petered out, but you...you are a star. That's why I wanted to talk to you when I got this commishioneership. I know you probably feel like you've been kicked around and given the shaft. I mean when Cali mentioned that she was going to do this I didn't even know she'd pick me. Let alone that Mace and Danny would be in this.

I honestly am not prepared.

As you can understand it is probably not the thing that is on my mind at the moment. At the moment I'm worried about Mia. I'm worried about CWF. I'm worried about what I am going to do at the show, but I want you to know something.

Once that bell rings and it's you and I...you will have my full attention frand.

Because as I stated to you weeks ago, and I meant it then, you are a world champion even without the title.

But you want the title. You've been cheated enough, and thanks to chicanery by many people you got screwed over time and time again, but did you give into the hate?

No. That makes you the best of us.

Me...I got a different problem. Part of me doesn't want that belt again. Part of me doesn't want that responsibility. Part of me doesn't want people to look at CWF and see “That guy...is their champion...pfffffttt”. I'm not what anyone expects, and rarely what anyone wants.

I mean when you think of the great CWF World Heavyweight Champions who really comes to mind? Me? I'm not even in the top ten list usually. As far as an attraction, fan favorite, and all around entertainer I am in a class by myself. Even you can't deny that.

But just for a moment. Let's forget I am the commish. Let's forget I am so damn scared of holding that title. Let's forget that I am not the Ataxia I am now...and let's go back to the Ataxia I use to be...

Haiiii frand...

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAH...Oh this is a treat. Just when you fucking thought that you had a god damn chance at getting away with getting that belt again. Everybody bailed and you're like finally! A moment to shine...and then cali goes...AND THE BAG MAN GETS A PRIZE!




I think someone's been taking booking advice from my birdy...

Then you get me frand! A fitting proponent opponent for you to go up against though. Ripper and Mace...wow...they sound like a bad eighties cop duo don't they?

In a world where mediocre wrestlers think they can hang with the big boys...he's a guy with one initial as a god damn last name and he's another guy with a face like a medieval blunt object. Together they're going to clean up the streets with their tongues because god knows this is the dumbest pair of glass licking idiots the world has ever shat out...Coming this fall...Ripper and Mace!

Rated D for DUHHHH!!!

Also guys...my sixty ninth CWF promo...WOOO!!

But then you have me and you. Honestly, if you would have been left out of this I would have booked you into it. Fuck the front office. I like what you said. You got balls girl...well...I mean...I dunno...I'm kinda in a relationship so I don't really wanna...you know...this hole is getting deeper than Jace so I'm going to step out now.

Speaking of relationships howse Adriham doing?

I know you want to fly kid, but take time. Take time out for yourself. Don't worry about what anyone else thanks. You got the commish on your side...and I hope you have a happy outside life as well as one in the ring.

Thanks for letting me do this...I need something to take my mind off of what's going on.

Love you MJ. You're a good frand...best of luck...you're going to need it...who knows...I might even make you tap out.