~So don't cry to me ohhh baby. Your future is in a Oblong Box!~

I'll be seeing you...in hell!

A warning to the prophet. The liar. The honest. This is war...To the leader. The pariah. The victor. The messiah. This is war!~Thirty Seconds to Mars. "This is War".

{We fade in on a dark room. Suddenly we're back lighted by red lights. Standing with his back to us is Ataxia. He turns around and faces us. Throwing off his top hat and cane away he is finally lite from the front with red lights.}

Ataxia: You know normally I do the whole pageantry sort of fun silly being in the creepy monster set kind of thing because, well, it's fun. Instead I'm going to talk to you about something serious. I'm going to talk to you what's happening in GCWA. We have nothing to look forward to in this company. It's nothing more than people wanting to make a (Bleep)ing dollar! Then again what do I know! My freaking opponent thinks that I'm some goth kid, not emo because I am at least got a set of balls, from middle school who apparently enjoys mind games! Like chutes and ladders!

{We see a picture of the game and Ataxia knocks it away.}

Ataxia: But that's not the real problem! No! The real problem is that we are all not listening to reality. Reality of what the hell we actually do. It's like freaking Benny Hill sketches as far as the eye can see with Linchy and his trio of a really bad boy band called House of Pain. Pain because my freaking soul has been shattered by how nineteen ninety two the story lines are! Seriously hire a writer because you guys apparently still think that ODJ is some sort of problem. His fed is dead and if we're lucky soon all of you will be. Seriously there is NO ONE in this federation that seems to be under a semblance of what is truly going on. So allow me to recap. We got a president thinking he can control the outcome of his federation by placing a fat talentless hack of a wrestler, who oddly is just like our president who has the wrestling ability of a grasshopper, and we all are just like la de da except for TLS. TLS is sort of like the perfect foil for Fat (Bleep) because no one knows what the hell is even going on with him in his promos. What is he? This seems like a combination of bad porn subplots and Fox action television programs like "24". Then to top it all off we got Lurr as commissioner. Was Harvey Danger actually getting a brain implant for this. I swear this whole place is nothing more than one giant ICWF puke fest wannabe. That however is about to change. With a handy dandy quick fix.

{We see a box of "Bland Fed" and we add ingredient X which has Ataxia's face on it. Suddenly it explodes into a glorious burst of rainbows, bunnies, and nuclear death. Suddenly Ataxia's face starts to get zoomed out of as he reaches down and pulls up his top hat and cane.}

Ataxia: So I am apparently a attention whore mr. "Irapcauseit'scool". Well at least I am honest and true about what I do instead of hiding behind some lame (bleep) interview show that was all seen and all done back in ninety two when it seemed cool. You like "Pulp Fiction" well I prefer "Reservoir Dogs" which says the greatest quote about this (bleep) situation! "Are you gonna bark all day little doggie or are you going to bite." Well all I have "seen" in these freaking promos is you rapping around like a nimrod and doing some "hardkore" interviews on a radio station. At least do basic cable where you can drop the F-bomb once in a while you censoring yourself prick! But wait! I'm censoring myself! Yes. Yes I am. For a good reason. I want there to be no way Ace can cut my feed. So since you like your little rap crap and I have nothing but dis-contempt for this (bleep) federation I figured I should torture all of you...with a musical number!

{We start to hear a orchestrated version of Metallica's cover of "Die Die Die My Darling" as Ataxia throws his hat back on and starts dancing in a Bob Fosse (Look it up morons).}

Ataxia: Cry! Cry! Cry! Little Wrestler!
Your gonna wish you never saw my face!
Cry! Cry! Cry! Little Wrestler! I'll be seeing you at Inferno...where I will break you (Bleep)
In TWWwoooOOOOOoooooooOOOO!!!

{Suddenly the music changes to something very disney-esque. Ataxia is suddenly surrounded by dancing pandas.}

Ataxia:We will show you a world.
Where you shall go plain crazy!
Because we're just so damn lazy.
We can't think of a original idea...
A WHOLLLLEEE NEEEEWWWW PROOOMMMOOOO!!!
A dazzling place of ultra screwed! You'll watch it anyway with tons of lame.
Because let's face it. You got nothing better to dooooooo...

{The pandas disappear and Ataxia drops his hat and cane. We go back to the usual green lighting of the promo and Ataxia smirks into the camera.}

Ataxia: I have as much business doing that as you do rapping you pathetic attempt at a gimmick. I'm more successful than you at doing this and I am going to enjoy flat out destroying you at Inferno. You want to fight me head on. I'm counting on it boy. Your nothing more than a angry child who is going to burn himself out before he can stop me. You want to go toe to toe with me. I really hope your this stupid. It's going to make beating you a hell of a whole lot more fun. Win or lose. I pulled your card.

{We see a card that has a person kicking himself and falling down. It says "Karma" underneath it.}

Ataxia: Time to learn your lesson Lori...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!.....

{Fade to Gray}