I don't ask for much. A few extra pounds of certain chemicals so I can make my “New Year” pyrotechnic show just a bit more fun. I don't ask for you to help cure this or help feed that. No. I ask for something simple. Something that I think everyone in SFT would like.
Dear God. Give Shadow a fucking aneurysm.
Do you not even watch your own show anymore?
I wouldn't either, but hey. Curious here. You give me a belt you don't want defended? Oh. I know. Someone else had a good idea and you decide to bury it. You keep it around because it got you ratings. I love it. I ask to not be in title matches and I get them. I ask to defend a belt and I get a tag team match. I want to curtain jerk now.
So that way this will be the main event.
Remind me again why this place still operates at all?
Oh yeah. I haven't killed it yet. Sadly, this whole situation is really not that annoying. I can just do what I normally do in cases like this.
...Hello punching bags. I've missed you.
We got Hayes! We got Murphy! We got...some bullshit match I've already been in.
Oh. They are on a team against me. Awesome. Now I can fight the combined powers of the Blunder Twins to fight something with the ability of half a wrestler.
Oh wait. It's a tag match.
Christmas “came” early this year.
Let's not get to excited though. Sure. It's going to be great to tag up with Dirk and become “Glitter and Gore”, but look at what we are facing.
Let's start with someone whose still a loser.
Howse your head doing? Last time I had the misfortune of dealing with your ignorant ass I firmly put you through a refreshment table.
Came back for some seasons beatings?
Let me guess. I'm going to have to hear the same insults. The same diatribe. Geez it's like fighting Hayes again.
...Oh yay. For Christmas I get a migrane instead of a lump of coal.
YOU TURNED MY BROTHER AGAINST ME!
Look at you! You'd turn against yourself if you could without going into a split personality gimmick, but that would require you to have a damn personality in the first place you All American Asshat!
When are you going to learn. You. Can't. Win.
You've lost in the past few weeks. I can stop you.
Titles were never a factor in my plan and neither were what matches I won or lost.
So how can you really stop me? Unmask me? Oh, but what would be the point? If you unmask me is that still going to stop me?
Think about that real hard for a moment.
Ask yourself if that's part of my plan or not.
Ohhhh Taxi's playing spooky games again.
Or is he?
That's the best part about all of you. You think you know exactly what I am going to do and what I am not. Well. I'll tell you exactly what I am going to do this week just so you two don't have to constantly be playing a game of “what's the evil plan” this week.
I'm going to actually entertain these fans.
You know that thing neither of you can do because you are about as inviting as a bowl full of nails for breakfast with no milk.
Oh I could really give you two a tongue lashing like the good old days, but what's the point?
You two obviously don't care.
If you two really wanted to make an impact you would be doing something about this match instead of wondering in silence.
My point is proven.
Oh I am sure you will have some witty retorts and some poor attempts at juvenile insults.
I'm going to go ahead and let you both hang yourselves. I will see the final blow tomorrow night.
Enjoy your momentum killer before it starts. Also know this...
This isn't my only dirty deed tomorrow.
So the world did not end when I had my “week” off. Yet. Something did end. My patience. So I decided to make something of it. Needless to say, like other people on the roster, I was not happy when I heard that I was not getting my title defense.
Ataxia: What is the point?
SFT Rep (On the phone.): Director Wilde says that he wants to...
Ataxia: He wants to what? Not (bleeping) doing his damn job!
SFT Rep: Look. You can be mad all you want. I don't care. The point is you got a tag team match with Dirk Roman next week.
One bit of damn good news. Finally get to work on the tag team I've been telling the front office about for months.
Ataxia: Who against?
SFT Rep: Kyle Murphy and Alexander Hayes.
Insert vomit here.
SFT Rep: You're mad aren't you.
Ataxia: I suggest you tell your boss that I am displeased in his decision.
SFT Rep: Anything I can do to not make you want to kill my boss?
Ataxia: Get a gun and put them out of all of our misery.
I hang up. Frustration fills the core of my being and it starts to spill out like sweat on a fat man in an interrogation room. I hate this damn place. You go around in circles and still never get what you want. No it's not the world title. What is it? What am I missing? I got Gary Mac trying to become a star again. I got Dawn's “sister” barking at us. I've got no shortage of enemies, but I need something. No, I need someone. I know what I need. I need a rivalry that will make my plans go further. Who? Who?? CWF wrestlers are not really around. No one who has a reason to hurt me. No one. No one except. Heh. Hahahahahahahaha. I smile. I smile wider than ever before.
Ataxia: Oh I'm a psychotic asshole...Oh I'm a psychotic asshole...Oh I'm a PSYYYCCCHHOOOTTTIIICCCC ASSSSHOOLLLEEEE...
This is going to be good.
Ataxia: Which nobody will deny...AHAHAHAHAHAHA.