It's so nice to get what you want when you follow the rules.
Oh I know people are calling foul, but the truth is quite simple and I know you will follow my logic. The simple truth is that I am acting like the champion SFT deserves. Oh SFT. You remember when Redd interfered in my match to gain this pathetic piece of tin all that time ago and nothing happened to him. It was just 'Oh that Redd...such a kidder. I am sure nothing horrible or bad will happen from this.' Oh the irony. See I realized during that match that I had the feeling of deja vu to much. I've faced that pathetic pile of shit way to many times in the past few months to realize that he was not going to win. No matter how many breaks I gave him. I would rally back and pin him with something he didn't expect. So I took my ball and I was going to go home. Then Fluffy decided to become a hands on booker. Bad idea. You see that interference thing is a bitch when it actually gets enforced isn't it? Kinda sucks when the rules are actually played by huh? Isn't that right Mr. I play by the rules? Oh I thought you'd be happy Hayes! Then in my moment of actually proving a fucking point guess who decides to finally make his presence known.
Some dipshit who gets to fight me again this week. Oh and here's a newsflash because it's probably all that we are going to be hearing him say...he “beat” me. Oh yes such a great victory when you walked out of that arena after...oh wait. That's right. All that matters to you is the rules. I pinned a guy or I made a guy tap out. That's all that matters. Little child. Do not attempt to think you can win a war with me. After all I wouldn't want to cause you to snap. Your lovely little doctor would hate having that to happen after all his good work with your pathetic whiny ass.
So Diet Gary Mac. What is your plan of attack? Gonna hit me with your tired ass moves again? It's going to be so much fun watching you realize that I coasted through our previous encounter just so I could prove my point. In SFT...Even when I lose I still win. Everyone else who wins still loses.
I mean hell really either way I still win in this match.
What the hell are you talking about Champ?
Well. Let's look at the math here. By enforcing the rules around here for once the great and mighty tons of fun decided to hop into yet another match between me and Hayes. Hayes is what I like to call napalm already on fire. He's pretty much all ready spitting nails and fire at the fact that not only does he have to fight me again and that I played fair even though he'll view it as cheating. Now there is a possibility of fat boy walking out with the title. Oh! Did I just spoil the plan? Oh wait. Then he gets the brilliant plan to put you into this match for a chance...a chance...to take my title. Making this a four way clusterfuck. With only a twenty five percent chance of you winning at best. So your whole big return even if you win this match is still fucked over.
Now. Do we understand just how easy it is for me to make it harder for you to get this thing you seem to care about. One last run. Jeez. What is with you old people. Have some fucking dignity for once in your pathetic careers and just show up at the hall of fame awards ceremony. No I need one more match. One more world title. One more ego blowjob to make me feel like my pathetic life actually meant something because people like you measure your life by what other people hold up to standards that you can never truly meet. Follow me for a moment and maybe you might see just how retarded you are acting.
You win the world title then someone tries to take it away from you. After they do are you no longer the best? What the fuck does it mean for someone to take something you earned? Can anyone take away that perfect attendance award you had in third grade just by pinning you? No! It's a fucking goal that has been met. So what happened? You sitting on your psychologists couch and suddenly you feel like someone stole your thunder because no one is talking about your lame ass. Maybe your psychologist should just go ahead and call you a lost cause. This is a mid life fucking crisis for you. This is the equivalent for someone who finds out a kid beat his high school football record and suits up to regain his crown by rejoining the team. Grow the fuck up and get over yourself. You want to prove yourself. Go somewhere new and do it! What? No one else wanted your piss poor wrestling ass? Did they all say that hey...you suck! Did that get in your crawl boy? Does it just make you sick to your stomach that no one really gives a fuck about your past. I sure as fuck don't, but it doesn't mean I can't exploit it. Which is what I am going to do oh so well.
How you ask?
Just make it to the show.
I promise it will be well worth the freaking wait. Speaking of waiting. I find it very odd that I still haven't heard from this wonderful singing voice of yours in a few weeks.
Did destroying your tag team title chance bother you that much?
Or are you going to be like Hayes and blame everything on other people? Up until last week I thought your ass had finally went back home. Oh. You beat Lionel. Yay! Get a cookie. You probably flying high off of that. So much so that you hit me to make a point eh? Trying to get your name back up top after being humbled by that little victory. Oh, but you played right into my hands.
See this whole last run of yours is like everyone else who comes in here with this Rocky mentality. It depends on the fact that you have to get as high as possible before you finally burn the fuck out. This is all going to be a matter of fucking time. Just like Gary. Just like Nirv. Just like TGM when he finally gets done jerking off to the possibility of facing Hect again. You will blow your load and then...
You'll go back. Lick your wounds. Say next time. Next time. There will be a next time when your ego decides to cash a check that your damn body can't cash anymore. I don't care what madness you are under. We all age. We all get older. We all grow weaker. The question is are you still stronger than me.
The answer is simple. I'm not the one on the couch trying to pass the time. By the way. It's almost as lame as the dear who-the-fuck-no-one-cares letters that TGM sent a month ago. Alchy at least had some heartwarming touch to bring to his little story. You.
Hell. I wish they'd cancel you faster than Firefly.
At least then I can get back to our favorite religious programming with Jude and our inspirational quote of the week from Emerson..
I took a shit on everyone's legacy here with this title because let's face it. Shit is what this place is. Every single champion and every single wrestler who has ever worked here excluding me and Dude JoB are all a bunch of pathetic no accounts who never will be anything more than a footnote to wrestling history.
So you say you got a win over me. Yeah. I admit it. Have you beaten me? No child. You are picking a fight you can not win. And even if you do. There is no chance of you beating me. Let's think about this. I win. I poop on this title again for another month till some smuck actually can pull it off, and you still lose. Fluffy wins we all get in an uproar, and you still lose. Hayes wins you still lose. You win...you still lose. Because you know better than anyone right now what happens when you 'win' around me.
Besides I still don't care about the title or this upcoming match. I've got nothing to lose.
And you...have everything to.
Sleep tight bitch.