Well this is sort of anti-climactic.

This is who I am facing for the first round of the tournament? I didn't know Doink was still in the business.

Now that I have your attention.

You want to talk down to me? I got news for you Bozo. I'm not as I appear just as you are not as you appear.

See, to any other rookie you would seem to be the biggest threat I could ever run into in my second week as a professional wrestler. The sadness is that you seem to be under the impression that I care. In truth, no one does care that you were a former this or a former that. Are you the world champion right now? No.

So all your triumphs and tragedies mean less to me than how much dick you took up your ass last night bitch.

Oh I'm not underestimated you, but let's be honest here, you really are overestimating your chances with me. Oh sure, you do not know me. Why should you fear me? Why should a man whose made a living being underestimated be afraid of a man in a mask?

Because let's face facts. That's how you win.

No one thinks a clown can beat them. Even if they have faced you before. It's the fact that you dressed as something most people would consider stupid. Then again I also get that a lot wearing this mask. So that brings up a question. Since I know your tricks what are you going to do when it doesn't work?

Call me lucky right?

You so called “veterans”are all alike. You start to believe your own hype to a point that just makes me blame “luck” and “oops” instead of actually realizing that maybe. Just maybe. I might be better than you.

Then again I would just call you a hypocrite for saying don't underestimate me and yet you underestimate myself. However I don't use the word hypocrite a lot anymore.

I just call them Christians.

You know the difference between me and you? The real difference? Not this I wear a mask and you wear clown shoes bullshit. The real difference is deep down you care what people think about you. Love you. Hate you. As long as they have attention on you. That's all you want.

You know what I want?

I want people to wake the fuck up. I want people to realize that the higher power they all look to for morality does not exist. That it's just a bunch of stupid rules we all follow because it's some sort of “sin” to just do what you want to do. Who cares if you murder someone right? More cattle will come when the next nine month re-spawning occurs.

In fifty years, aside from your little side notes in history, no one will remember you. This sport will have some other clown talking smack to someone else wearing a mask if it survives. That's the idea. We are not immortal. That's what human beings fear the most. Their own mortality.

You fear something else entirely. You fear the “disruption” of your own “immortality”.

Your legacy. Which in truth you have none. Without those pathetic fans, who love or hate you, you are nothing. You never were anything but something to laugh at.

Oh to be naive like you again.

But see I can't be that way. The moral right doesn't allow me to. You know the funniest thing that I ever got in the asylum was. You will really appreciate the idea of this particular joke. After everything my cannibalistic pastor father and mother did. People sent me letters saying Jesus still loves you.

Where was Jesus when they wanted to feed me cheerleader steak?

Where was God when they beat me to near death every day for four years because I did the right thing and didn't eat people?

Where were you when I needed a hero to save me?

No one cared then. No one cares now. That's the point.

That's the joke.

Human beings are only moral as long as it suits them.

If the apocalypse happened tomorrow and we all knew it. If we all knew there was no heaven or hell what would happen?

The same thing that happens everyday. Bad things happen to good people and sick people still walk the streets.

So why should I pray when I know that it does no good?

Why should I have faith in those who could do something about it but don't?

I don't. That's why you should really be afraid of me. Because I don't care. Hell I'm not even doing a damn stupid story in this pathetic rant. Because that's all this is.

I don't care about a world title.

I don't care about you.

I don't care about anyone.

So why should I not kill you?

Simple. Because in death you learn nothing and I'm not like my parents.

So just enjoy your little rise to power.

Because in all honesty. I don't care.