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“My cup runneth over. Like blood from a stone. These stand for me. Name your god and bleed the freak. I like to see. How you all would bleed for me. When the pig runs slower. Let the arrow fly. When the sin lies bolder. I'll pluck out thine eye.” Bleed the Freak. Alice in Chains.
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Ow.
There is no other way to describe the amount of pain I was in when I woke up in the hospital. My mask was off. I started to panic. X was there.
He said I didn't get my match with Elisha. Someone else was going to get that fight. Someone else was going to get my punishment. Someone else was going to get to be tore up by him. My fault. My fault. MY FAULT!
It was then the doctor came in and told us what was wrong with me. I've lost a lot of blood the past few months. The “feud ending” match with Lorenzo Demarco as well as my match at Wrestlefest had tore my body apart almost. I hadn't spent a day the past month without popping a stitch. The match with Elisha wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be on me but my back. The stitches from a shoulder cut popped and it was bleeding the entire match. I hadn't even noticed. They needed to give me a transfusion. The doctor told me that my body couldn't handle the pressure anymore and that I should take a few weeks to heal. That I should quit at least one of my jobs. CWF or GCWA. I told him I'd think about it but it was my call.
After he left I just sat there wanting to get drunk. I wanted to smoke. I wanted to curve the beast within because he wanted out some more. He had a death wish. I had one to. I just wanted to make it my wish for once. I wanted to not go down fighting in some match for no reason. I wanted to do something right and I failed. I can never do anything right. I can never...have never done the right thing unless there was no other option.
X interrupted my train of thought to tell me that he'd call Angelica and tell her to cancel my match. I asked him who I had. He said it didn't matter. He said that I should listen to the doctor for once. I told him that I had never not shown up for a match and I wasn't going to start now unless he told me what it was for. My friend sighed as he told me the truth. I had been given a opportunity. I had a world title match with Cain. The look on my face apparently told me what he knew I was thinking. I'll give you a few days. He said. You let me know how bad you feel and it can still get canceled if your not up to it. In all honesty...your not in the right mindset for a regular match let alone a world title. I nodded my head as he left the room. He was right. I am not ready for a match. I haven't been ready for a match in a year or so. I, however, am not going into a match.
There in the corner was my clothes. The bloodstained uniform of Ataxia laid out in front of me. Walking with a IV is always fun but when your lightheaded as hell you tend to make life more difficult for yourself by doing stupid things. I picked up the gloves. I picked up the suit. Then I saw it. The mask. I looked at it. I felt it. I saw the blank expression of the bag. It looked at me almost in a way of daring me to put it on. I feel the presence of my mindset. The one I have buried. The one I have kept hidden. The one I don't want to be right now. He tells me throw it away. Throw the mask away. Let me out. Let me out. I know what I would do to Cain but it isn't about me.
It's about a wish.
It's about what a young woman who I tried to be there for her whole life told me a few days before she died.
“I want them to cheer for you”
I sit back down on the bed. I looked at the mask and I thought back to what she said to me. It was impossible back then. Those few months ago. I laughed at the idea and said maybe some day. Some day they'd cheer for me and she'd get to see it. My god daughter died a few days later from a hit and run with a drunk driver. It's something people in GCWA know. I figured it's time I be honest with CWF fans as well. I went to her funeral. My family, hating and glad I was there, greeted me. My brother Micheal did the sermon. I cried. I don't normally cry. I've only really cried three times in my life up until then.
The day I killed a man.
The day I married my wife.
The day my children were born.
I couldn't stop. My family. The family who hated me more than anything for what I had done to them over the years actually stopped to care for a moment. I was her godfather. I was suppose to be there for her. It was a responsibility I held dear. I made sure after every brutal match to call her and then my wife to let them know I was okay. My sweet Hannah.
I flew back to Mexico the next day and I hoped into a federation I was helping out with down there in my self exile from this life. I joined in a over the top rope battle royal but I decided I just wanted to hurt someone. I just wanted to break someone. I needed to get back in the ring. The strangest thing happened. Not that I won. Not that I did well.
They cheered. But it wasn't enough. Not enough for her. Not enough for me. That was the night this mask became who I was going to be.
Cain may not understand this. I don't really care. No one really understands me. It's been that way all m life. Silent. Methodical. Always planning. I threw plans out of the window as best as I could. Right now I don't think I can take out Cain. I don't know if I can beat Cain. I don't know if I can even stand up right now. Then I put on the mask. Then I breathe out the last of me and breathe in...Ataxia.
I'm standing in the room with no shaking legs. I'm standing in the room with no thoughts of failing in my mind. All I hear...is the screams of the crowd as I beat that “monster” down. All I hear is the sound of applause. All I hear is the sound of triumph. Then I hear the one thing I don't want to hear... “No show.”.
I am weak. I am hurt. I am probably beyond all sanity right now. But I know one thing. Massacre. I'm going to be in the main event. I'm going to fight the world champion. Win. Lose. Draw. Count Out. Doesn't matter! What matters is that I am going to do this right thing. I am not going to fail because I can't stop feeling guilty for not keeping a promise. I know she can't see it. I know she can't hear it. I know she won't be there...but I know she'll know. So at Massacre. I will make sure of one thing. That she hears the cheers for me. Because without this mask...no one else will. Not my ex-wife. Not my kids because she doesn't know I'm doing this so they won't be watching. Not my family, because they don't understand why. Not even my friends. X probably won't even be in the building. The only one who will be booing this is me.
I don't want to fight him. I don't want to do this. I don't need to beat anyone for a damn belt!
I have held world title's before. They mean nothing to me. I gave up going the route of winning world titles years ago because they are never the measure of a federation. They are always corrupted one way or the other. They are always something that never lives up to it's purity!
Except here. No politics. No hate. No bullshit.
That man earned that belt. That man earned his shot. What have I done? I've lost qualifying for a title. I lost at Wrestlefest. Even though I won the match I lost the war with Elisha because I don't get him this week. He gets the win for that. What business do I have fighting for a world title. No one would ever book me in a match like this! No one would ever put me in a match like this! No one would ever chose me for a match like this!
But it's not me they want...It's him.
It's Ataxia.
So that's what Cain is gong to get instead of me.
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{We fade in on a training facility in New Mexico. Two days after Massacre. We see Ataxia in the mask, a black t-shirt, black workout pants, and black shoes. His arms all the way to his fingers are taped up as he tries to lift hand weights and can barely stand up.}
Mr. X: Have you lost your damn mind!
Ataxia: You make it sound like I had one to begin with.
{X is right there looking pissed off. He's wearing basic street clothes along with those blue shades and his hat.}
Mr. X: Your going through with the match? What the hell man!
Ataxia: I...have to.
Mr. X: No. You don't.
Ataxia: Yes. I do.
Mr. X: Look if this is about the title shot I'm sure we can reschedule.
Ataxia: Gotta do it now.
Mr. X: Your no good to anyone dead you know that!
Ataxia: I'm no good to anyone alive either.
Mr. X: Is that what you think?
Ataxia: It's what I know. Look, your my friend. I love you. This is something I have to do.
Mr. X: That's not going to work on me.
Ataxia: What?
Mr. X: This is a cop out.
Ataxia: No that's a Kevin Smith movie.
Mr. X: GOD DAMN IT STOP MAKNG JOKES!
{Ataxia stands back a little looking at his friend.}
Mr. X: Look. When my life went to shit. I had no one. I had to find myself by myself all those years ago. Then I met you and all the boys. I finally got a group of friends that I could trust. Then I got married. I adopted my son.
Ataxia: Don't do this.
Mr. X: You think your the only one whose lost people close to them? My wife murdered! My child...
{He composes himself before he continues.}
Mr. X: You took me in. When everyone else couldn't stand me you took me in. You did everything that you thought you could do to help me. You were retired. Damn it you were happy. Then you got back in the game. Then you went apeshit like you always do. Like you have always done. You lost everything! Except us. Your friends. I am not going to abandon you but I'll be damned if I am going to watch my best friend try to kill himself again!
Ataxia: You remember that night! That night I held a gun to my head and you talked me out of it! You've paid me back for helping you get back on your feet. This isn't about me!
Mr. X: Yes it is! You have always held everyone's problems as your own. You can not blame yourself for things you have no control of!
Ataxia: I've got to get back to training for this.
Mr. X: Then your doing it without me.
Ataxia: Fine.
Mr. X: I wonder. Just how much have you ever cared about everyone. Always the first to help someone in need and refusing help for yourself. How much can you really hate yourself (Bleep)?
{X walks away before Ataxia can respond.}
Ataxia:...I'm trying to like myself right now.
{He lets out a sigh and starts to go back to work.}
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So they ask me. Can you beat him?
Yes. I can. Will I on that night? I would like to think so. Normally I'd say just how easy this is going to be and criticize you. But who am I to criticize a world champion? You don't know me. You've never faced me. You have never even probably seen me in the back.
So why should this be anything more than a cake walk for a guy like you?
You and I come from two different worlds. Your English and I'm American. Your a big power wrestler and for all intents and purposes I'm a hardcore freak. Your a veteran in this business as well as this federation and I am a rookie in your eyes. That's a mistake. Normally I'd let you think that. Although normally my reputation proceeds me.
So I'm going to tell you the truth. I'm from a wrestling family. I'm the runt of the litter. Everyone else in the family clears six foot two. Everyone else follows dad's plan of action. Beat a man till he can't get up. Power wrestling at it's finest. Except that's not how I learned how to go. I had it a bit more difficult. So it was technical, hardcore, and brutal power of will. I had a knack for hurting people. Not that I went into the match wanting to take a guy out for the rest of his life but I would focus and systematically break apart this man or woman. I didn't leap off the top turnbuckle till I was in my eighth year of pro. Why am I telling you all of this? Why am I telling you where I come from and what I do. Why am I shooting myself in the foot?
Because I want you at your best.
I don't want to win a cheap way if I win. I want you to not be able to cry foul because of not knowing. I don't want you to be like Marcus and cry his damn head off if things don't go your way. I don't want you to be like everyone else who loses to me. I want you to know that I beat you without any false pretense about any detail that could be helpful to the match. Who you are facing isn't the man behind the mask. Your facing the man wearing it. It's something I have to do. It's something I have to be.
It's what has to be done.
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{We fade in on Ataxia arriving at a autograph session a day before Massacre. He moves a bit more better than he was earlier but he can't be at full strength. He's wearing his in ring costume of the gray suit, white button up shirt, black tie, black opera gloves, and black boots. The mask already on his face and fitted as he walks through the door. As he starts to head towards where the session is taken place he hears someone call him out.}
Ataxia: What?
Guy: I said (Bleep) I need to talk to you.
{Ataxia turns around and grabs the guy by the throat!}
Ataxia: You don't use that name right now got it! What the hell do you want!
Guy: Your...wife wants to talk to you!
Ataxia:...damn you X. Fine.
{Ataxia lets the guy go and he follows him back outside to a limo. The woman inside doesn't come out but rolls down a window. The camera is in a position that we can't see her but the boom is right behind Ataxia so we can hear it.}
???: I said I wanted to talk to you not get put on camera.
Ataxia: Your not on camera.
???: Take that damn thing off.
Ataxia: No.
???: I am not asking (Bleep).
Ataxia: Good cause your not getting it either way. In our marriage you always got what you wanted except with me rich girl. It use to turn you on when I would tell you no so back the hell off and tell me what this is about.
???: (Bleep) called me and told me what you were doing. How dare you go off and do this without talking to me first!
Ataxia: Last time I checked we were getting divorced so my life wasn't your concern anymore except with the kids.
???: This affects the kids you jerk.
Ataxia: How? I'm not doing death matches like I promised.
???: No but your fighting freaks of nature and apparently joining them. This isn't you.
Ataxia: There's a lot of things that aren't me anymore dear. Get use to it.
???: If you don't quit this now I'm making sure you never see the kids again.
Ataxia:...
{He doesn't say anything for a moment and then lets out a growl like sigh.}
Ataxia: You do that...bitch! You try it. Then I'll gladly point out to the judge all the evidence I have that makes you a unfit mother!
???: My cheating on you has nothing to do with rather or not I can be a mother!
Ataxia: You fucking cunt! I'm not talking about how much dick you suck. I'm talking about how neglectful you are to our children cause of your partying ways. I have recorded testimony and people who you fired. I have you by the tit. You ever make a threat like that to me again I swear to god “Angel” I will fuck your world up more than any amount of spunk you have taken to the face by some rich coke snorting asshole!
???: You think a judge would let you keep the kids? Your a fucking freak! You always were! You never let anyone in even me!
Ataxia: That's not true.
???: So what I failed (Bleep)? Fuck you. I dealt with you screaming in the night! I dealt with you trying not to kill yourself by throwing yourself into stupid fights with more and more violence just so you could feel like God was punishing you for something you HAD to do!
Ataxia: You don't know what your talking about. This isn't about that.
???: What is it about? Hannah? You think she'd want you fighting this Cain guy this week for a world title match. Hell you've got like what? Ten of those things?
Ataxia: More like five but you never went into my office so...
???: Look. You either give up your fight in the ring for now or I will start a fight with you that you can't win either.
Ataxia: You know the answer to that. You just can't let me do anything right either can you?
???: I'm stubborn.
Ataxia: I know. That's what I loved about you...still do.
???: Then come home.
Ataxia: You don't want me. You want what you thought I was.
???: They miss you (Bleep).
Ataxia: I miss them to. But I have to do this. So someone is going to have to blink. It's either you or me.
???: It was always me...so I'll see you in court.
Ataxia: Bye dear.
{He walks away from the door and to the camera.}
Ataxia: You bleep out my name when this broadcasts got it?
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Seeing you with your son gives me hope that someday I can reconnect with my kids. I know it's not been easy on you either. Sad to say you got something in common with this freak. No I'm not going to call you the old man. Your not old. Your experienced. Something I appreciate. I get tired of fighting this one shot kids all the time. You know I like your style despite my recorded contempt for big guys you do it well. True I high fly. True I take risk. I do now. I use to not. I use to follow the plan.
Then the plan changed me into something I couldn't be.
I'm many things. An asshole. A jerk. A father. A liar. A son. A honorable man. A hated rival. The worst man in the business to get on his bad side. The one thing I am not is a risk taker.
I got screwed. My...home got taken from me. Probably how you felt when CWF shut down. I busted my ass, worked hard, and never missed a show but one. That was to remove a bone chip from my spine so I didn't have a option. I strive to, despite being hated, be professional. They decided to play favorites. To a point where I just was sick but I couldn't quit. Then it all fell apart. I was left with nothing. I had lost everything for nothing. So I left everything that was left and went somewhere to lose myself.
I don't like me very much in case you can't tell. Elisha. He isn't bad. He's a child compared to me. I don't have the power, the speed, or the moves like all of you have to be a threat. I just have the one thing that rarely breaks.
I'm determined to win the war if not the battle.
So that leaves what we have to do now. We have to get in that ring. After all the entrances are done and the bell rings it will be you and I staring each other eye to eye...with you looking down of course.
Then I want you to realize something behind the contacts. The stare I shoot you. I promise you one thing.
You'll blink.
And I'll smile.
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{We fade in on Ataxia in all of his ring gear with his back to us save for the mask. He pulls the bag like thing over his head and turns to the camera.}
Ataxia: Hello kiddies! It's your old pal Ataxia here. I think we should get something out of the way before this promo ends. See I could be mean and wear his son's face tomorrow night for all the world to see “Scott Cain” versus his father. I could wear Elijah's face again just to mess with him. Instead. I'm playing this straight. The mind games aren't going to work except for one thing Cain. The game is simple. I'm more like you than you want to admit and your a “normal” guy. You know the difference between someone like me and someone like you. One really bad day...let's hope you don't have one in the next few days. AhAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I'd hate...to have to face myself since that's just what your doing at Massacre. Let's let the show live up to the name shall we! Let's give them a massacre! Let's give them just what you think you can do. I want you to hit me with everything Cain. I want you to hold onto me. Then realized you just grabbed a viper. Then maybe you will learn the ultimate lesson. Thou shalt not underestimate The Messiah Pariah! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!
{Fade to Gray...}
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