“I'm dangerous, I'm a dying breed. Poisonous like a centipede. I'm capable of the foulest deed. Dangerous at night. I'm dangerous like a razorback. Deadly like a heart attack. Well, I don't bend and I don't crack. Dangerous tonight.” -Dangerous Tonight. Alice Cooper

Well. This is a fuster cluck isn't it?

Really? This was your idea for a main event? This was your plan to make Confliction into a great pay per view. This was your lead in match and I am, sad to say, that you once again didn't disappoint.

Let's face it you are nothing more than a disappointment! This is a horrible idea on your part. I mean with all that's going on it's almost like you want Chance and I to kill Jace Valentine.

Didn't think I'd catch that did you sly guy? Well no worries. I would say you are going to get your wish and that this mistake of a champion will be taken care of in this nice little five on one situation that it could turn into. However, despite what a lot of people think.

I'm not a fucking hitman. You made this mess and if this is your best way to clean it up the least you could do is just flat out admit that you need my help. Hell, at this point it'd be in your best interest. No one wants your main event.

Well except Chance.

Let's look at how you fix things.

Two “bad guys” facing each other won't draw me money. Oh let's get the old workhorse yes man I wanted aka Jarvis and let's get that guy I screwed into the mix. Now what do we have? Nothing anyone wants to watch.

The only reason anyone SHOULD watch this match is to see Chance win.

Because let's face it. The other three just don't measure up.

Blue Scorpion, the resident “legend” of The Trinity. Aw. Is blue balls trying to fix his screwjob. Dawwwww. That's so sweet and so awesome. I got screwed! I got screwed! Hell, we know you got screwed. You've got a little scorpy baby coming right? You know I love kids. They taste great with ketchup.

Sorry. It'll be the only poor taste joke in this set about I promise. I don't need to make fun of you Blue. All I got to do is just think about the past few months. I sit back and I can't help but smile underneath this lovely “bag”. I told you. I told you all. I told you he was a no good, pathetic, waste of sperm fan boy. No one listens the the crazy men around here unless we are named after biblical characters. I think that's really what gets to you Scorp. I know it gets to you. I know it eats you up from the inside like some kind of bacterial colon eating virus. It burns you like it does when Jace pee's I know.

Don't worry Jace, I called the doctor you got nothing to worry about. It'll pass once you take the pills, but you might wanna have those ANAL WARTS looked at.

Back to someone who matters in this match.

I can picture you Scorp. It was like the story of the ages for you. A former tag team wrestler. Finally going through all opponents, myself included, and winning the world title. If I can say this. I think you are more of a triumphant story then when I pulled my victory over Cain and won the world title. No one in CWF can dispute that you earned that title. I don't care what the retarded Canadian syphilis brooder says. You are still in my book, The World Heavyweight Champion. The difference though Scorp is this. You were, are, the world champion of a gold plated turd.

No one takes CWF seriously and that is a shame because you are that good. You are that talented. You are the greatness personified of this federation back in the day and for the future.

All fucked up by one fan boy scared of a lawsuit.

What kind of promoter is that?

Hell, we could all go in on a group lawsuit against Rish for the diarrhea he gave us from all those bad buffet's from back in the day.

This pussy got wetter from fear than a barrel going down Niagara Falls. So he did the one thing he knew how to do. Fuck up. Just like the condom that spawned him.

Gotta hate latex just doesn't hold up in cattle.

Getting back to the topic not about accidents in nature and in the backseats of cars. How are you? Are we having any problems? Do you want to sit down my analyst? Because, Unless I am mistaken. What the fuck did I do to you?

In all seriousness Scorp, I left you alone when I should have burned your fucking face off, cut your balls off, and then fed them to Gamble as I tied him up with his own intestines.

This is the thanks I get.

“The Trinity”?

Just what the fuck did I really do to you that no one else would do in my position Scorp? I'm not the one who was fucking with your family. I could have been. It would be so easy to break a man like you into pieces. So what the fuck did I do? I gots to know! Is it my breath? Do you have some kind of prejudice against me? Is it cause I got red eyes? You hang out with a ginger and you can't deal with someone with red eyes! You hypocritical bastard!

All seriousness aside I do help you do well in this match. Heaven knows I'm tired of fighting the same old familiar “faces”.

Speaking of faces. I find it funny how you like to keep track of all the men that have fallen under your fat ass Angel.

Exactly which way and every way you penetrated my defenses and left me quivering from a quickie three count.

By the way you might want to work on your shoulders. It felt really weird with my legs around your head for that shot into the table.

To answer your questions constantly PMSing one. No. I am not requesting these matches. No I don't want to face you. Not because I am afraid. Far from it. Like most women. You don't serve a purpose in my plan. You actually are one of the “non factors” in what is going on in my masterstroke of a plan. Feel free to feel important dear but we all know why you are here. You are here to try and make women's wrestling look good. You are doing quite well but that's only because Angelica is retired. You'd be teaming up with Kaylan El to form some “Bitches with Attitude” group or something to get attention if she wasn't in her earned position. You know what a earned position is right? It's how you probably got rehired with that shitty work ethic and horrible moves that you attempt to pass off as wrestling.

“But I beat you NANANAAANA!”

Keep telling yourself that. I'm still breathing. I'm still living. I'm still plotting to burn this wannabe fire tire to the ground.

Hunny, you want me to expose myself. It'd give you something to focus on other than your bad parenting skills.

Damn. I forgot the memo. Do not make fun of wrestler's families. Oh shit. I'm sorry. Oh wait. A rule. Hah Hah! As Ataxia I scoff at rules! SCOFFING COMMENCE!!

(Insert fifty billion scoffs in a Bristish accent so the brits in the fed will quit bitching about being unrepresented. Take that Aussies!)

Now we return you to our regularly scheduled rehashing of why Angel is a misinformed strumpet.

The reason why she is a misinformed strumpet is because she is perhaps the dumbest pile of excrement next to that which spawned Lord Chamberpot Steven Nerdluck Gamble oh so many years ago! Perhaps instead of trying to be cute with little quips about trying to trashtalk someone she should focus on doing something of actual merit. Like working on her wrestling holds so she can back up her tiny words. Perhaps making sandwiches and getting in the kitchen is more to your liking. I know it would be mine but I don't let skanks work in my house.

Has it dawned on you yet that you are a bigger joke than Alex Cain's retirement record?

Oh. I am so worried about the ginger kid showing everyone who I am. Dummy. I always wear another mask under this one with spirit gum on it. Good luck getting it off. What I am pissed about with that is that a criminal stole something from me and should be punished. It would really suck for Big, Blue, and Buttfaced if his soulless tag team partner suddenly dropped off the face of the planet. If that happened I guess...The Trinity as a name would make sense! AHAHAHAHAHA MY MADNESS HAS A METHOD I AM TRYING TO MAKE THE CHAOS MAKE SENSE! DO YOU SEE IT! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

This rant brought to you by the people who think Ataxia shouldn't do promos on pixie sticks.

Isn't that right pixie. He's shy. He'll come around. Now back to she who likes to be on her back in a quick finish position. I was nice last time. I threw your ass OUT of the battle royal because of what happened with Cain. You pushed your luck like that push up bra pushes the law of physics.

Papa Spank.

And your going to love it because that's just the whore you are. Gamble's go to goodie two shoes who knows she's only keeping this position as long as those fake funbags don't deflate. I'm shock value here. I know my role in this federation but it's about time you learned your place. Eye candy. It's all your good for. Now go make like Abigail Starr and go away with but a puff of smoke.

Try and shoot me bitch.

You want to threaten me with bodily harm?

Are you this stupid or is the bad dye job causing more harm than all the glue you sniff?

As a woman I am sure you have been watching my promos. As you have noted. Stupid bitches who don't know when to shut up seem to be disappearing. It would be a shame for you to go away. Then who'd take care of eye candy junior?

A druggie whore right?

Tell me. If this is you when your victorious how are you when you lose? I'd hate to see you lose your temper and something bad happen. See. I have yet to lose my temper. Keep pushing. You. Blue. Captain Personality. Doesn't matter. Someone is going to eventually make me snap.

God pity you if your the one that does it because your going to find out the hard way that body parts aren't meant to be cheese grated!

You got anything else to say or are you going to be a good compliant bitch and finally shut that disease ridden mouth of yours.

This is no fun. You already insulted yourself by calling yourself Jace Valentine's predecessor. I mean I can't even begin to think of something worse than being that which he strives to be.

Wait. It makes sense why he's a sellout, a fool, and a pathetic wrestler then.

So howse the face?

Oh I know what you want to do in this match. Get that old “comeback” feel going good against the guy who improved your looks right? Wrong. This isn't the grand arena. You are not the plucky hero. I am not the big bad evil bend on destruction.

Get your brain out of this fantasy before I use the old frying pan for something other than to just say “no”.

So am I suppose to be intimidated by you Jarvis because you got another title shot? Hell, everyone is getting them. Hell. I think we should say fuck it and just have the whole fed in a battle royal over a tank of man eating sharks. Wait. You'd have a advantage there. You aren't a man.

You're a icon! An icon getting a mockumentary made about him where you seem to have some stupid grasp of a brain. Damn isn't it nice to manipulate the camera to get your “good guy” turn. It's nice to see the good guys using my tactics for once.

What's the point of facing any of you? What's the point of any of this. This match can get phoned in. Only one person is winning from this.

Gamble's pocketbook.

So pardon me if my partner and I just play a game of 'go fish'.

Because none of you are worth this aggravation. I'm not playing his fucking game anymore. Call me when you children want to take you careers seriously.

Oh and Scorp.

I know exactly what I did to get you so mad.

I'm better than you because I saw it coming and let you win that match. How does it feel to know you really didn't earn that title now?

{We fade in on Ataxia standing outside of a town. It looks like a nice place to live and he seems out of place next to it. He's on the backside of the welcome sign to the town so we can't see where we are but it does look pretty.}

Ataxia: You know everything here looks like CWF. Perfect. Good payouts. Low worker claimed problems. Everything is wonderful. Now. Like most things in life appearances are only skin deep.

{He walks to the other side of the sign and we follow. It says “Welcome to Centralia” It's Pennsylvania state sign and next to it is another sign. Warning: Underground Mine Fire. We see coming over the sign now is a lot of noxious looking gases.}

Ataxia: You might be asking yourself why we are here. This town has a coal mine fire going on underneath it. Has been for years. Only five people now live in this once promising hamlet. Why did I bring you here? Why are we here? Why aren't I “killing” anyone this week? Because I wanted to talk to all of you. I wanted to bring a point up to everyone in this federation. You are not invincible. Look at this place. It doesn't look bad till you see the gas shooting up from under the earth! It's serene! It's perfect! You may be asking yourselves why am I bringing you here? The real reason. Well. Maybe I buried the bodies here. Who'd look? Everything in this town under the ground is a inferno. It'd be like a burial and crematorium all rolled up into one! Think of the savings. All the benefits of the burying in the ground funeral and all the convenience of burning the body! Glorious.

{He walks over to a black hearse and gets in the driver seat. We cut to a camera on top of the coffin in the back. He starts driving.}

Ataxia: Enjoying the ride? I thought it would be appropriate. You know. A lot of mean things have been said about me in the past few weeks. One by a certain wannabe in a mask. Let's face it grandpa you can't cut it anymore. Oh, but your going to get revenge on me right? Wrong. I've done nothing to wrong you until you sided with that ignorant fool Steven Gamble. You brought yourself into my war and attacked my ally. Now you are going to pay. Oh I know Chance and I are walking into a trap. I don't care. Go ahead. Do. Your. Worst. No one can stop us. You want to injure me out. Go for it. See what happens. Come on old man. Give me one reason to blow your damn head off.

{Ataxia starts to chuckle as he hits play on the car's ipod and starts playing “Counting Flowers on the Wall”.}

Ataxia: Ahahahha...You don't bother me at all...do do do....playing solitare till dawn with the a deck of fifty one...smoking cigarettes and watching Captain KKKangaroo! Now don't tell me I've nothing to do. Oh come on. It's like you. It's a classic. See it's really easy to see why you wear that damn thing X. Note, during this filming it's all about you. Not those fools in my match. They don't matter outside of Chance. It's all about me having a conversation with you? I know the power of a mask X. I know why you have to do everything so honorably. It must have been really tragic what put you on this course. Some ill fated sense of honor is going to get you to lose everything. Then. You have already lost everything right? You've been traveling all over this country and yet. Yet. You haven't seen your own real face. This mask is who you are. You are stronger than yourself because of this. It's the idea of you that can never be tainted. That's where you are wrong. See all someone has to do is start wearing your mask and then they taint you! Don't worry. I wouldn't be caught alive in that fucking ugly excuse of a “bag” you wear. The difference between you and I though X, when it comes to the masks, is that I am not a idea. I am a fucking law. You want to be this hero. That make me the villain? Why? Because I oppose the way YOU want things to go? Is it because you think I am a murderer when you have NO proof. When you have nothing! I dare you to go poking around. You might find something disturbing X. You might find yourself.

{The song switches. It's now playing “I don't care” by Fall Out Boy.}

Ataxia: Oh that's gonna have someone talking. Better change it. Don't want any identity theft going on.

{The song switches to “Diary of a Madman” by Ozzy Osbourne.}

Ataxia: You see. In all my time here in CWF I have never really lost it. Not once have I really lost it. Oh sure, I get a little creative in matches but nothing to serious. Nothing really serious yet. You see. I have no intention of losing this fight. I've been holding back since day one making sure you all feel comfortable. The thing is X, you're like me in many ways, we both are fine until no rules occur. So why beat around the bush.

{He turns around and smiles those red teeth. He hits the next button and the song changes again. “God's gonna shut you down” by Johnny Cash.}

Ataxia: Let's set the damn thing on fire! I have heard through the grapevine that you have a good publicist. I hope that person is better than your wife is at wrestling because the only reason I can see you being with her is just how much you love oriental...cooking. You see X. This war isn't about you. It's about two people who can't coexist. I'm not going anywhere and since he doesn't have the guts to get into the ring with me. He sent you. A glorified errand boy. You want to match wits with Ataxia. Good. Because you think you are a monster when you cut loose. You haven't seen anything yet.

{Ataxia runs right into a headstone of a graveyard and flies out of the windshield. Ataxia lands in front of a headstone and gets up bleeding.}

Ataxia: That was fun. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...Oh looky. I found it!

{“Here lies X”}

Ataxia: The ghost of Christmas Future...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

{Fade to Gray...}