~So don't cry to me ohhh baby. Your future is in a Oblong Box!~

I'll be seeing you...in hell!

DIE!, don't need your resistance DIE!, don't need your prayers DIE!, don't need no religion DIE!, don't need a thing from you! I don't do what I've been told, You're so lame why don't you just go? “Die Mother (Bleep)er. Die” Dope.

{We fade in on the “creepy set”. We see Ataxia laying on top of the black coffin. His mask is laid out in front of him but the way the lighting is presented we can tell he is unmasked but not who he is.}

Ataxia: I miss you. I really do. This use to be so much more fun when were together “darling”. It use to be you and I against the world. Then. Things changed. I became the background. I was the thing you didn't acknowledge. That somewhere beyond you there was a me. That somewhere deep inside of you under all the pain was someone who cared. Now you are gone and I have to keep baring this cross. This pain. This nightmare.

{He leans up and grabs the mask. He puts it on lace by lace and snap by snap. As we see this montage of him putting the mask on we hear this voice over}

Ataxia: What's the point? This is stupid. Why am I doing this. I should just go out without the mask and without this air of crap. I should just walk into the light and scare the crap out of everyone one good time before I start dealing out destruction. But then...

{He smiles as the lights cut on and we see that yellow toothed black lip grin.}

Ataxia: It wouldn't be this much fun. So apparently we have heard from everyone now at least once or if your my quick to shoot new “best friend” then it's probably time for me to amp up the sizzle of this situation with a lot of rebuttle to the wild claims of crap that are being said about myself and my “Darling”. Oh I can start on dear sweet Lori when I get to end of this. No it's not saving the best for last. It's putting your wannabe wrestler self into the dirt. No, instead we are going to talk about our dear sweet other opponents in this situation. So sit back, be patient. I know hard as hell for you Lori, but I figure it'll teach you to learn your lesson.


Ataxia: Worth the ten cents to download it for the mp3 player in post edit. Now. Let's look at our contestants on “whose the most insignificant”. Behind curtain number one we have the team “leader”. “Simply the Best” Chris Cortez. Wait. Simply the best? Wow. I thought my name didn't mean anything to anybody but darn your trying to beat me in the what the (bleep) were you thinking name award. Why not actually something with some guts to it that was a song lyric. “Hard as a Rock” Chris Cortez! How about country music “Achy Breaky Heart” Chris Cortez. Hey. You can have a country music song lyric nickname if your a Scottish wrestler with a Spanish last name so nanananananaaahhh! Oh I got it! The perfect name for you. “Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Roma-roma-mamaa! Ga-ga-ooh-la-la! ” Chris “I'm a (bleeping) diva” Cortez! Have you ever re-watched one of your own promos after they're done. I swear it's like looking back in nineteen ninety eight and seeing what Warrick Hill was smoking! This is garbage and this is our INTERCONTINENTAL BREAKFEAST CHAMPION OFFFF THEEE WOOORRRRLLLLLLLDDDDDDDDDDD... “Detachable P(Bleep)nis” Chris Cortez! Yes kids. That's right but have no fear Ataxia is here to right the wrongs and snap the thongs. Can you tellllLLLlllllLLLLllllllLLLooooooooWWWW??? What Ataxia is thinking?! Hell no! Because your just one more over pushed, over ego stroked, “simply over dang rated” pile of trash! The only thing your going for with this is what? Money! Ohhhh cut a new t-shirt and get three-fourths of the profits. Oh wait. No one would buy it because your mediocre at best. Seriously who does things for money in wrestling when we all make a good amount of cash even if we lose. Sorry. I would have asked for, oh I dunno. A world title shot! I know the winner of U.S. Gets one but why not get a guarantee of a shot? If your “Simply the best” you got f'n screwed. Ace is laughing because he's making more money on this guest star smash bonanza. Heck. I wouldn't be surprised if he paid me MORE money than he's paying you to take off this mask and go nuts! It's because your not a star. Your a hold over champion. Someone to hold the title till someone better comes by and actually makes something of it. Now onto some real competition.

{We see Ataxia move away from the coffin and over to a green screen. Standing in front of the green screen we see the background change to the entranceway for a GCWA event. Suddenly smoke comes into the fray and the green lights cut on as we hear the sound of recorded applause and confetti fall from the sky.}

Ataxia: OHHHH YEAHHH!!! Ataxia at a GCWA event! I hope I don't run into Ryan Rage! It could be the end of my car...EEERRRRR!!! But I have a dream! A dream where wrestlers get it through their stupid skulls that doing a promo in a arena just makes you look like a moron! Even if you have a “match” at a house show it's a bit better than showing up at arena and doing this stupid crap! I mean what's next? Pyro?

{We pan out and see the bikini babes form the last promos with sparklers.}

Ataxia: OH MY EYES! THE POWER OF THE SPARKLERS MAKES ME AWESOME!!! RAWWRRR!!! I am “The Jack(bleep)” Ryan Rage! Look at me! Grr. Look at my man muscles and not compare my look to most gay porns with men in speedoes. Behold I will never get laid basically exposing my small package to the world because girls can tell the camera adds two inches! WOOO!!! My tights were in a trophy case. Wait a tick? You put your tights? Your gear? In a trophy case? Did you bronze your first set of diapers to? Behold the gold plated turd of “The Franchise”! Seriously. Dude. Nineteen Eighty Three called and wants it's scripts back. If your in a barber shop next week I know something is up and I am calling it. Should I be scared of someone with the last name of Rage? No. You know why? Because it seems to be a pattern in this circle to have interesting last names. Here's a few. Jason Stone, Titan 3, Street Shark, Dynamic Dynamite, Silver Cyanide, Johnny Hunter, Trent Steel, Jason Blood, Warrick Hill, Harvey Danger, and Kevin Heat. Everyone has a last name that has a word associated with it in the dictionary or a number. Heck Cy even has a chemical equation for it. You guys are all a dime a dozen. Me. Ha. At least I am original. Heck your partner even calls himself Rage from time to time. Hey. Maybe we should change him to Larry the Mute cause I haven't heard crap form him. However, all I have heard from you is crap. I intend to stop it. For good. Get your trademarked butt ready for a “parts unknown” butt whooping boy.

{Ataxia moves up close to the camera now. His face right into it.}

Ataxia: Now. We come to the little boy whose trying to be a big bad angry temper tantrum barbarian rager! AHAHAHAHAHA. Oh it's so cute. This whole (bleep) this and (bleep) that bull crap from you is so hilarious. Your “rapping” skills that make you look so hardcore. I'll be honest. It was so street worthy it reminded me of this.

Ataxia: I'm sorry that was insensitive. How dare I put up a Vanilla Ice parody when your clearly...

Ataxia: Now that we get this whole rap crap out of the way it's time to get serious. Since you want to try and make yourself a image with this stereotypical crap son I guess I'll have to give you a stereotypical butt stomping. You want to put me out of business? Your a fool. You don't know who you are messing with son and I will inform you of this when that ring bell rings you are going to get exactly what your stereotypical self needs. A taste of humble pie. Maybe then you'll quit being a gimmick and then be yourself. Oh wait. You are being yourself. I mean your a rapping political science major. O.M.G. I am so scared that they stated this fact after you already made your first appearance. At least everyone knows this is a shame that I am screwing them over with. You. You are trying to make us think your a bad (bleep) because you beat up cameramen? I'm sorry. I figured since no one else was using you I could make you a star. You should be thinking me poser. Oh but don't worry we will take it up a notch at the pay per view. I will enjoy it so much when you think you have me and I break you in half! You beat me? Not without a ref catching me giving you what you gave me. Shows you can't take it boy. Yeah I got back up Lori. You know why little girl? Because I'm not like your momma. I get right back up and get in your face you Norman Bates wannabe. Now why would my team turn on me. They're either afraid of me or my new best friend like Xtreme. You. Your team has a loose cannon they can not control and it's going to cost them the one person out of the whole bunch who actually had a little bit of ring talent to survive this match. Rage is a shame. Cortez is a egotistical moron. Riot is a fart in the wind. You. Your the only one with even curtain jerking ability at this point. You have a temper or at least your “character” does. Oh and you have a history with drugs. Oh no. If this was any more stereotypical I would be expecting it to be a very special episode on UPN! Tonight on a very special episode of Home Boys in Outer Space...

{Ataxia smiles as he walks over to the coffin. He grabs his cane from the side and puts on the top hat.}

Ataxia: That's honestly more truthful than anything I have seen in your promos. A drug problem, a single mom, and a sports scholarship getting that dream degree sap story. This is one step from being a hallmark movie of the week for BET. Your not impressing me boy. If this is your life than please do us all a favor and buy a better one because this is not entertaining. And your girl. Seriously could you have found a more stereotypical ex-porn star to be in there. I mean seriously I swear she was back up in on of Dynamic Dynamite's promos. Oh and her last name is Fine. Wow. Could you not have went for Kiki Bootylicious or Jenny Hoe? Your not going to take me out or choke me out Nasty N word. You know why? Because your being played and your walking right into it. You have been wound up and set loose. You seem to be under the impression I don't want you angry Lori. Far from it. If I have to I'll photoshop me skull (bleeping) your mom just to get you angry. Because when your angry you make mistakes. When you make mistakes you lose. Your gonna be so focused on me that my other team mates are going to make such short work of you and I won't even have to lay a hand on you unless I feel like it. Then “Team Cortez” is down their one crazy eight of their terrible hand. Your a liability. I'm a wild card. I can still be a ace while your being a deuce bag.

{He puts his gloved hand on the coffin and nods his head.} Ataxia: Yes darling. Since he asked what does my name mean. Funny you should ask. College feller like you should study this as a athlete. It's a noun. It's a term used in Pathology. It's the sudden loss of the coordination of the muscles. Especially the extremities. Since your brain is the thing that you have never really used to it's full potential I am going to enjoy making you loose it's coordination. You think you can just spew and spit cuss words and it means something to me. Wannabe white boy. Your decent. I will give you that. But your no match for Ataxia...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

{Fade to Gray}