“They say misery loves company” Misery. Soul Asylum

Ataxia: This is the part where I make fun of you again.

{We fade in the “creepy set” whipping around looking for Ataxia. We see fake corpses, crosses, meathooks, and anything else your creepy imagination can come up with. We finally stop on Rupert on a perch outside of a room marked “Private” The door is opened and we see what looks like a workshop. Sparks are going off at a table as we see a man standing over grinder trying to shave down something metal. His back is to us. He is wearing a black suit. It's Ataxia. His face is covered by a weilder's mask as we pan next to him to see the “Ataxia” mask. The grinder stops and whatever he is working on is put away as he turns to face us. We pan down to the mask as he starts to remove the weilder's mask.}

Ataxia: I told you. I told you I was going to use you and you played right into my hands you fool. You thought you were better than me Lori. That's mistake number one. For all you know I am the greatest wrestler to step through these doors. Hell. I am the greatest wrestler to step through these doors because unlike the rest of you I actually have a reason to do this. I'm not here to make money. I'm not here to make a name for myself, I already got a damn good one. I am not here to become World Champion unless I earn it. You know that thing you don't seem to want to do Lori. Earning something would actually probably be a good lesson for you to learn. Obviously you just learned your lesson about your “limits”. Now let me guess. I get to face a “sober” Lori and that will make things better for your favor right?

{He reaches over and grabs the mask. We don't pan up until it is fully on. The eyes are unzipped and so is the mouth as he looks at the camera. He starts to walk out of the room and back into the creepy set. Rupert hops off his perch onto his shoulder.}

Ataxia: Wrong. This will be no different. No matter how many lame dream sequence (bleep) you try to pull off in your stupid as hell promos! You are no different than you were last week. The only reason you have a win in your record over me is because a ref didn't like the fact I was whipping your butt with your own weapon. That's okay little girl, I am about to bury you for the last time. I used you to amp up my match at US and you didn't disappoint. Your the best member my team had man. You took out everyone just like I knew you would. Your predictable Lori. You just wanted me. So I took advantage of you and I enjoyed every moment of it.

{He walks over to the black coffin and sits for a moment as Rupert lands on his leg.}

Ataxia: I find it funny that you don't think we haven't seen this “divine” intervention crap from people's dead relatives. I swear you've been watching bad soap operas to get ideas. I can't wait to see the true story of Lorenzo Demarco comes out with you being played by Chris Rock and your mom played by Tyler Perry. It's funny really. Your feeble attempts to make it seem like there is always some reason why you can't beat me. Drugs. Really. You know how many people in this industry have a alcohol problem? Way to many. So if your thinking that this somehow is going to get sympathy or even a remote “maybe I fought him at his worst” you can forget it.

{He stands up and Rupert flies to his shoulder as he starts walking. He turns to the camera as he is walking. We follow.}

Ataxia: Your making excuses. You did fail. You failed because you couldn't focus because your just a angry whiny child whose trying to find approval even though he's a self destructive little crackhead! I hope all of your friends realize just how much of a pathetic (bleep) you are so maybe you'll do us all a favor and kill yourself. In all honesty it's better than my destiny of apparently seeing all of these promos because your like syphilis for my career. Your going to flair up no matter what I do to you short of killing you. I love that you don't want to appear fake but those dreams are way to “hollywood” for realism but hey what do I know. I wear a mask. I'm the one hiding. Maybe I should do a adventure in my dreams but I don't think I can get a conga line of midgets on the short budget GCWA gives me.

{He finally stops in front of the door marked “Exit”. Rupert flies off of his shoulder as he grabs a cane and top hat from next to the door.}

Ataxia: I find it funny that the world is still in shock that Liam and I made it to the final four. I hope I didn't freak you out to much kid but that's kind of my schtick around here. Laugh at them all and they get scared more than if you have that threatening constipated look that Ryan Rage seems to think makes him look intimidating. Yeah really intimidating. I am so glad he's the scariest thing next to the baby when it's born at that shower. Seriously all of you need to take how to a promo one o' one.

{He walks outside and we are blinded by the light. We fade back into normal outdoor lighting as we see Ataxia walking down the street whistling “Oh what a beautiful morning”. As he turns out of a park onto a city street people start to notice him. One college age girl screams and runs away. Ataxia looks at the camera.}

Ataxia: Must be my breath. Gotta lay off the onions.

{He keeps walking and people keep running out of the way.}

Ataxia: Guess they've never seen a wrestler before.

{8675309 aka Jenny starts to play as Ataxia pulls out his cellphone.}

Ataxia: Hello?

Mr. Screwyou!: (on the phone) HEY STUPID YOUR WEARING THE MASK!

Ataxia: Oh silly me! How creepy this must looks.

{He hangs up the phone and pulls out a clown nose and puts it on.}

Ataxia: There much better. That should stop people from being afraid of me. It's like everyone in GCWA. I don't understand this. Sure I'm wearing a mask. Sure I laugh like a loon. Nobody is afraid of Lori but he acts like a gangsta. Nobody thinks Ryan Rage is scary even though he acts that way. I mean really why am I getting the flack for wearing a mask? I mean Liam Shayde isn't scared of me. Well he did run screaming out of the studio last week. Well then there was at US where he...oh yeah. Hm guess I am scary.

{A fat nerdy guy lets out a squeal next to Ataxia}

Ataxia: Well that was perfect timing.

Fat Nerd: OMG! It'z Da ArAxiA!

Ataxia:...(looks at the camera) I never see any of these outside of their basements. The Warcraft server must be down.

Fat Nerd: I iz Ur BiGGerEST Fan.

{Ataxia starts to back away.}

Ataxia: I realize what this is. I'm trying to do a parody promo about how much people can't stand their fans and it's gotten way out of control. I hired a method actor. That has to be what's going on here. No one can be this annoying.

Fat Nerd: U should Wreztle N Fursuit!

Ataxia:...Exit Stage Left!

{Cartoony Scooby Doo like chase music kicks in as Ataxia starts running. He is chased by the Fat Nerd for a few city blocks until the Fat Nerd gets run over by a bus in the background. Ataxia stops in front of a strip of stores and catches his breath.}

Ataxia: (breathing a little shallow) Okay. That was kind of screwy. This is why I stay in the freaking promo studio because this is a pain in the butt. Am I really this hard to work with? Hell I am a productive member of GCWA. I should not be treated like some kind of igor like nimrod grave robbing. The only thing I am robbing is losers who don't deserve what they get. I am tired of watching ICWF, CWF, ACW, and whatever other old letters are trying to reach today's audience. This is a load of crap when all of the younger audience has to look forward to is Lori. We need to find a way to reach out to the newer generation we need to...

{He turns and looks around to see a shop full of freaky looking teenage kids mostly wearing wrestling shirts and other pop culture icons. They're all standing in front of part of this strip at a black building called “Slam!”.}

Ataxia:...(pulls off clown nose)

{He walks inside to see a lot of these teenagers just sitting around watching old wrestling shows or ordering coffee. One such person who looks really overworked is a girl who is trying to get her orders clear since apparently they take drink orders here. Ataxia walks over to her. She is a girl in her early twenties. Tattoos everywhere we can see. Black tanktop, black to short skirt, black leggings, and black converse tennis shoes.}

Overworked Girl: All right that's one Bodyslam Grande with a twist of lemon anything else.

Ataxia: Excuse me.

Overworked Girl: (tuning around) Look I'll get you a drink in a second (bleep) I got (bleep) to do besides listen to...

Ataxia: Hi. Sorry to bother you but...

{She falls backwards and Ataxia catches her.}

Ataxia: Well darn. I guess I'll have to leave on a cliffhanger.

{Fade to Gray...Wait a minute}

Ataxia: What?

{Fine. Fade to Gray.}