~So don't cry to me ohhh baby. Your future is in a Oblong Box!~

I'll be seeing you...in hell!

“And how many people sick of holding it back? I am I am And how many people wanna kick some ass? I would if I could. But I'm really just a sensitive artist. Perpetrating like I am the hardest. So spin your cap around to the back. You think you rhyme but you can't rap. Loosen that strap a little more. Till your axe hits the floor. Flip off your fans. Make em cheer. Try to look sincere. Anger today's fashion. So sing another song about bashing someone's head in! ” Kick Some Ass. Stroke 9.

{We fade in on what sounds like a high pitched whine of sorts but it's actually a seven foot tall amazon with blonde hair dressed as a valkarie belting out a opera like tune. We move back and see Ataxia and Eric watching this. Ataxia looks like he's going to lose his mind.}

Brumhelda: Iiiiiiiii liiiikkkkkkeeeeeaaa toooo pllllaaayyy the skiinn fluuutteee.

Ataxia:(Whispers) With pipes like these I can see why.

Eric: Be nice.

Ataxia: I am being nice...If I was being mean she'd have her throat cut right now!


Eric: It's not so bad.

Ataxia: She sounds like Hood when he's in heat.

Eric: What kind of joke was that?

Ataxia: Dunno. Apparently it's popular to make these jokes in your promo talking to someone about your match to try and hide the fact that your trying to make a fake scripted thing look realisitic when really we all know it's a wrestling promo.

Eric: That makes no sense.

Ataxia: Sad when I am the voice of reason.

Eric: Well your fans are bearded ladies.

Ataxia: Emm furpie.

Eric: (gag sound.)

Ataxia: Winner...me. (To Brumhelda) Thank you dear that will be enough. {She bows and heads off set. Ataxia reaches down and picks up a trashcat and slams it into his face.}

Ataxia: I'm taking a break...

Eric: Oh no you don't good sir. We have just two more girls to go through.

Ataxia: Why don't we just skip one for my sanity sake. This thing is scripted you know.

Eric: What do you mean it's scripted?

Ataxia: Eric. We make fun of promos here. Let's look at Trevor. This guy is so lackluster and NOT interesting that he has Liam Shayde as his running buddy. What? Was Lori to busy “busting caps” to be your token sidekick or did the PC people tell you it'd not make you as much money. I guess he didn't get the memo that Chase is the stupid one but damn this germaphobic stuff is great. I haven't seen anyone treat a stripper like that since the guy who played Freddy Kruger was in Zombie Strippers.

Eric: Excellent movie.

Ataxia: About as on par as the horror in this show.

Eric: We're doing a show now?

Ataxia: Yes. You going to be George. I'm Kramer. We'll get Trevor to be Jerry because the talentless member of the cast has to be the one that has his name in the credits and we'll get...Hell let's just get Brumhelda to be Elaine. Or better yet Newman! I would love to see Trevor go face to face with someone's whose happy parts match up to the size of her ego since obviously this is all a desperate cry for penis envy.

Eric: Oh good Elise is here.

Ataxia: Be still my beating heart...I DON'T CARE!

Eric: What do you care about?

Ataxia: Oh I dunno training for match instead of looking like a choad right now.

Eric: Uh Tax. We filmed this like four days before the match.

Ataxia: What you mean we don't get to look at these early and make responses?

Eric: Yeah we kinda do. That's why there is such witty retorts on the last day.

Ataxia: AH HA! All right bring on the disaster.

{The next girl who comes up is Asian and very homely looking.}

Ataxia: Uh did we not get my mandate on asian girls?

Eric: Yes I know but listen this is great. She's like Yoko Ono.

Ataxia: Is this your lame attempt to make fun of that asian whore who tried to mount Shayde?

Eric: No our writing team came up with it earlier.

Ataxia: We have a writing team.

{Eric points to a corner of the studio and we see a group of smoking monkeys at type writers.}

Ataxia: Wow...No one saw that joke coming a mile away.

Eric: You mean the jokes that Trevor Kent does are better?

Ataxia: No. It's just as predictable.

Eric: Well let's listen to Youno.

Ataxia. Youno?

Eric: Her ring name is Youno Nothing!

Ataxia: My sides. Oh. My sides. This is so awesome.

Eric: Just hear her out.

Ataxia: All right hung well let's see what you got.

Eric: It's Youno Nothing!

Ataxia: I agree you don't.


Ataxia: Don't try to go vaudevillian on a masked man.

Eric: Point taken Groucho. All right sweetie cut a promo please.

Youno Nothing: (in a monotonic voice) I think that the treatment of women as sex objects in this industry is nothing more than a placating of the fantasies of juviniles to fat shut ins who can't get a date and if you really want to see someone like me in a bra and panties match your going to see a girdle and granny panties.

Ataxia: Well she's got me on the disturbing visuals part.

Eric: Hey...

Ataxia: We need to wrap this up fast. I don't have a running buddy that I can ghostwrite his promo for.

Eric: That's cause no one likes you.

Ataxia: That'd hurt if I had self esteem, cared, or that I didn't already know this is true.

Eric: Good point. Okay sweetie we'll call you later if the job works out.

{Youno Nothing leaves the stage and then a blonde big boobed bimbo in spandex shows up.}

Ataxia: Is this the last one for this disaster?

Eric: Last one who answered our advertisment.

Ataxia: Wonderful. Maybe I can actually get to editing this thing before it's suppose to go up Wendsday.

Eric: Aren't we breaking a lot of kayfabe?

Ataxia: No. I'm a artist of parody. Besides everyone knows that we all have to do these because of contractual obligation. Thanks Ace.

Eric: All right. Well this girl is called Stery O. Type.

Ataxia: Somewhere the nineties of pro wrestling is trying to come back to life as a zombie. Seriously? This is the best you can do.

Stery O. Type: Like totally I think that like you need to like take me like totally seriously as a like comepetitor like because like totally like I have like the best like boobs like around and...


{Ataxia gets up and walks away from the audition and goes through the facilities of the studio. He stops in front of the buffet table and grabs himself a water bottle.}

Ataxia: AHHHHH! Why! Why do I have to keep doing this. I should just rip this mask off right before Trevor gets in the ring to totally derail his stupid “return” to singles competition. Yeah good luck even if you win the match getting press after that pal. He's looking for Kabuki Jo. Well I'm looking for a logistic reason why I shouldn't rip his face off. What is the point of all of this? He's surrounding himself with talentless hacks! I don't get it. Maybe there I something more than the fact that NFB really really suck. No. I don't see it. That's not my job though. That's the CEO's job. That's right. You know the job your suppose to be doing. The job that means that you don't screw with the product. You can make all your bag head jokes you want. You can say whatever you want about me as a wrestler, about my relationship with Linchy, or even about who I really am. I don't care. But the fact remains that you are not doing your job to make money your doing it to get famous. I got a problem with that. You want to get in the ring. You get in the ring. You don't run the company and expect to be the world champion. You can't have everything or it will kill this federation. But who cares right? Who cares if Santanna loses his job? Who cares if Xtreme has to go find somewhere else to hurt people at? Who cares as long as you get what you want. See that's what you, Ace, and Lurr don't get. No one pays to see you! No on wants to see you! That era of your lives is over but yet you decided to jump into the ring again. That's where you crossed the ultimate line with me. Bookers aren't world champions. And even if I have to blow up the building we're in I'm making sure that doesn't happen. Why are so mad about this Tax? Because it's simple stupid. It's a conflict of interests and I'm not having my future ruined by a overzealous small dicked loser like you.

{Ataxia starts making his way through the facility again only this time he stops off in front of a giant cut out of Trevor Kent.}

Ataxia: Nipples...he has them. This is apparently a big deal to you. Apparently you just have some sort of problem with people taking shots at you. You like to change things around to make some sort of gay analogy in a sport where most men, even you, apparently wear tights and grope each other. Fabulous attempt there. You like to be this guy who tries to get under everyone's skin but I see through your mask. You see you like to make people think that your something great. Truth is. Your nothing more than a slightly talented man with a inferiority complex who probably feels unfulfilled in life about everything. Wait is the lunatic playing psychoanalyst? See the point of this whole match is totally lost on you but I'll clue you in just as I always have had to. This match isn't about me beating you Trevor. It never was. Even if you do Trevor...it doesn't matter. Because the point isn't to beat you. The point...is to break you. And since your worried about your stable so much don't worry I'll take good care of them after I break your damn neck you overpushed under developed pile of crap.

{Ataxia turns and pulls out a lighter from his pocket and then swallows a pill. He then spits the substance out onto the lighter sending a fireball right into the crotch of Trevor Kent's cut out. The cut out goes up into ash quickly.}

Ataxia: Oh I got plans for you. I am going to take you on a nice mind screwing. Don't worry I'm sure you'll get through the ride but I promise one thing. At Inferno. Win. Lose. Or Draw. Your going to learn a lesson the likes of which you have never seen before. Don't worry I'll make sure to leave you just barely alive so your dick sucking friends can take on last...great load.

{Suddenly Ataxia stops and runs off camera. We follow. He stops a girl who was walking by off camera. She looks pretty normal. She's a PA for someone at the studio. She's got natural colored hair and features. She's wearing glasses but other than that her attire is that of a laid back girl in t-shirt, jeans, and converses.}

Ataxia: Perfect! Girl: Excuse me?

Ataxia: Sweetheart...I got a job for you.

Girl: Creeper!

Ataxia: No it's a actual paying job I'm a wrestler.

Girl: What are you talking about.

Ataxia: Come. Sit. Talk to my producer...we're gonna make you a star. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

{Fade to Gray.}