~So don't cry to me ohhh baby. Your future is in a Oblong Box!~

"You're my sinner. You're my dinner. My little puppet, let's pretend. You're the cure to my affliction. My addiction to the end." I am the Spider. Alice Cooper.

I think you’re pretty. Hell, you said you were a good looking man. I didn’t really see it from your picture. Seeing you on camera really shows me just what I am going to sink my teeth into at “Lethal Lottery”. What’s wrong Jason?...I thought you liked attention.

Be careful what you beg for. You just might get a full on load of more than you can swallow.

Oh, you like to objectify people. How cute. Really. The more of an asshole you are the more I want to do things to you. Oh. It just turns me on so hard when I see someone just as shitty as you…

Take just as much as you dish out.

My. My. My. You sure do like to dish out so many bad things to say about me and SFT. Let me clarify something for you though “darling”. I am not a SFT member. No. I know of this place from an old friend. A former US Champion to be precise.

Mr. Nirvana…greetings from a protégé of Trenton James Steel.

I am not here for the glory of SFT. I am not here to make a name for myself here because I have no interest in SFT. I am here being the lone representative from CWF. Former World Heavyweight Champion of my home federation I decided to help boost it’s ratings by using this federation to advertise it as well. Sorry if this doesn’t make the owners happy but controversy creates cash….

And I am the master of money shots.

Now let’s look at these two sacrificial lambs right now. We got “Sexypants” Joshey and then…Kave?

They look like they can work well together but I bet the real question that everyone is wondering.

Can The Guyver and Ataxia coexist? Of course. The classic hero teamed up with “The Messiah Pariah”. One of the most controversial and insane superstars to ever set foot in this ring. Of course, Ataxia will work with “The Guyver”. As long as Guyver understands one thing. In the ring…

Do not attempt to try and change my ways. There is a madness to my methods for a reason. Right now I got someone feeling a little bizarre about his promo and just what I am reading into what he said. You proved your point Manly Mendel. Sex does drive us to do a lot of things. It’s a basic instinctive nature. There is no polite way to go around it. No matter what anyone tells you. No matter what poetry, songs, or movies tell you. Love is merely a rationalization of Continual Lust.

Lust is something you can understand about right Mendel?

Like the lust you have for the spotlight. The lust you have for your own ego to be stroked like something else.

Am I making people uncomfortable?

Shh. Darling. That's gonna spoil the surprise.

You see Josh I've decided to turn over a new leaf here. See in CWF I am a unappreciated genius when it comes to the program. I know, former world champions, do get no respect. Wait. Would you know anything about it? After all...I think you are nothing more than a curtain jerking pile of beefcake. Emmm. Beefy.

“He's just hitting on me to get inside my head”. Well. I'm trying to get inside one head. One “higher” brain that is going to make you completely and utterly useless in this match. Now. I could go into what I have seen watching your, so called, “great” matches. You are about as sloppy as a fat woman at a buffet. Your technique reminds me of a glorified backyard wrestler. Also ummm. Stop. Just stop with the girls man. I can tell a closet case a mile away and it's usually guys who have girls “blow them” during promos. First off. No one is buying it.

Liberace called he wants his closet back.

“Pot to kettle”. No. Silly boy. I'm comfortable in my sexuality. It makes me. What's the word. Oh yes. Unpredictable. Now I could molest you in the ring and get you all upset to the point where you do something stupid and we can capitalize on it as a tag team and kick your ass. Oh sure, you can call foul and say I was robbed but let's face facts.

You are only good at making excuses.

I've seen your matches. I know a wannabe when I see one.

Don't get me wrong. You're cute and you can cut a decent promo but you have no real stand out qualities as a in ring performer. I suggest becoming a color commentator or even better a on screen staff member who makes matches. VP or Commish...something like that because let's face it. You can talk shit all you and almost get away with it.

You can't back up what you have said to me and Guyver.

Because I know something you don't know. See. You know what your capable of. All the ego and persona aside we all know our basic limitations. You have a idea about your partner. What little anyone can glean from such a statue of limited ability and form. Then you have my partner. We all know what Guyver is capable of. The one “it” factor I know and you have no clue about.

I know what I am capable of.

I'm going to enjoy watching your pretty face get turned into hamburger. I'm going to enjoy watching you squirm and twist in the wind as the assault is going to take you out of this tourney faster than you shot your load on prom night.

You have no idea what has been unleashed in SFT...and on yourself.

I am not playing a game. I am not making you into a puppet.

You'd actually have to be able to fight for me to do that.

Oh and in case your wondering about my style Mr. Mendel.

I am one with the art of pain. I can take more than you can dish out and give more...

Than Nirvana.

I feel you should really get to know what's about to happen to you.

Enjoy the next few days of wearing your mask. Because I'm going to do to you what everyone has tried to do to me.

I'm going to rip your face off.

...then lick it...

...then feed it to you before you die...”darling”. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

{We fade in on a run down building where we see posters and thrown DVD's everywhere. The lighting looks greenish or to dim to tell what is going on. As we move from room to room we see something that scares the crap out of the cameraman.}

Cameraman: SHIT!

{We see a beautiful woman in a glass coffin that is setting upright. Behind her is a fat forty year old man in the same coffin. All around the cameraman are these coffins.}

Cameraman: Ahh...Ahh...

{From behind one of the coffins a black gloved hand reaches out and grabs the cameraman.}


Cameraman: AHHHHHH!!

Ataxia: Calm down. You'll wake my darlings.

Cameraman: Are...they...(gulp)...dead?


{Out of the darkness comes a man dressed in a black suit and tie with black gloves and black boots. His face is wrapped up in multiple layers of bandages with only his eyes and mouth left opened. His lips are black. His teeth are the color of blood red and spiked. His eyes are a strange red color.}

Ataxia: If they were...You'd be next. These are...my friends.

Cameraman: Who...What are you?

Ataxia: Hmm? Oh the bandages. Sorry. You caught me repairing my mask. Do come with me. We'll set up a real promo in the other room.

Cameraman: Are there more of these things in there?

Ataxia: No...that's where I keep my taxidermy supplies.

{The cameraman sways for a second and we see the camera fall. Ataxia leans down over the fainted man and looks directly at us through the camera lens.}

Ataxia: Am I making people uncomfortable? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA...

{Fade to white...}