So we got another team and a half of another to go. The reason I let Mac go first is so he can pop out another stupid promo where he says this and that and we get a classy scene with him and his monkey. So let's start off with Murphy.
Thought you could get away? Thought you could avoid your "Glitter and Gore" beatdown? Thought you could get out of doing this by leaving your partner out to dry. What did it get you. A loss at a pay per view and right back where I want you. You are right back where you didn't want to be.
Across the ring from me.
You are going to run and hide like a bitch now or are you actually going to fight this time? Are you actually going to try and be a wrestler or are you just going to continue being a poser. Hayes. For all of the problems I have with that moron at least has the guts to take his beating. You better get use to a fact now Murphy. You are paid to fight. You are now going to be paid to be my personal punching bag!
I am going to enjoy letting Dirk tear into you, but not as much as I am going to enjoy making you a loser again.
You don't have a fucking prayer. It doesn't matter if Mac and his girlfriend win. It doesn't matter if Glitter and Gore wins. You are not going to win. Because I am going to knock your ass into the cheap seats!
They say you are some kind of an egomaniac. I got to ask you this. How are you going to have an ego when every time you run into me you run away. You ran away after I beat the crap out of you backstage a few months ago. You do it again only this time you left someone else to take the beating. The same guy you let take your beating a few months ago. You. Can't outrun me. You are not going to avoid me.
I'm making your career a laughing stock from here on in. I'm going to do something to you that no one would expect.
When I am done with you I am going to make every single member of the Axis looks sane! I am going to drive you either into retirement or into a nuthouse man. I am going to be on you like a stalker on a hot chick. You will never escape me. This is your only damn chance. Run. Run before I get you and make you.
Just like me.
AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA...Now onto the next moron up for bids.
Josh. Dude. Just no show. Seriously this isn't a fight you want. You want another shot at the Hybrid Title. I'm fine with that. I welcome that. This is just going to be a cause of pure agony for you and I don't want one of the few people I actually like to get messed up all because I hate you partner and the DI team has their panties in a wedgie over us being better than they are.
Besides. I think we all know that I am the ONLY one who has a partner that is completely trustworthy out of this whole bunch. Your "partner" has ran from me before. He'll do it again. Even if he doesn't that thought is in everyone's head. Hell when the going gets tough chicken little will bolt instead of "lose".
Let's talk about you though.
Do you really want these little trophies? Is this part of God's plan for you?
To fight me again. With no help what so ever. Why lord? Why have you forsaken this man to a lose lose situation. You have to look at this from all sides Josh.
You think you're going to survive a DI versus Axis "showdown"? Well. You will. Because this won't be a fight anyway. Come to think of it I know exactly why you guys were thrown into this.
Because after I am done with Ace there won't be a DI tag team anymore.
Wait. Be patient. Be the opposite of your hyperactive trash spewing partner "Ace".
Josh. You'll give me a actual challenge in this match. It'll make me feel like this is actually worth the frustration. This match will actually have merit. This match will be worth the annoyance of having to watch the promos I have to see this week. Hell, I shouldn't even watch them. Let's review.
Gary Mac: Bitch about the Axis, Moan about the Axis, and Cry about how the Axis is better than anything his pathetic little mind could come up with. Talk about how he's beaten ALMOST all of us in a singles match. What? Jigga who? Did Ataxia just call out that little fact about anything Gary Mac has said? Who could he possibly be talking about? Does Gary Mac actually not have a right to claim at total Axis defeat? Why yes...he doesn't.
Kyle Murphy: I'm not running. Nope. I'm awesome. Why are my underpants yellow and brown?
Josh Konnelly: WWJD. I'm gonna quote this and this and then talk about how your going to lose to me even though I knocked you the crap out.
Which leaves only one person. The weak link.
Yeah I said it. I said it for the whole world to see.
You like history don't you? That's what you guys who care about World Titles, and who did what to who seem to want to focus on. I happen to know my history to. Particularly a little bit about yours. Also found something fun to take the wind out of your friend's little sailboat of egomania.
Shhhhh. Be. Pa-ti-ent! Gary. Gary! GARY! Calm the hell down. It'll be told to you when I am good and ready. Not before. Your parents obviously couldn't stand your whiny ass back in the day so you got everything you wanted handed to you just to shut you the hell up! Not this time. This time. You are going to have to wait till the end of the promo. That means you have to listen to me to get what you want. Enjoy it. It'll be the last few moments you have any right to say anything to anyone.
Ace. My. My. My. You've certainly come a long way from when you and I were on the same side of the ring. You remember right? The "I don't need you" speech. The whine about this and that during what turned out to be a handicapped match. You would have lost and been eliminated by that little worm without me doing what needed to be done. Tagging out the trash and doing the job myself.
I hate doing these promos. Truth be told I'd rather not do any of these damn things. They are a waste of my time, but hey keeps the fans entertained and something to keep losers like you who have no lives something to focus on.
You should be more respected by me right?
No. You shouldn't. Miranda has got a reason to boast that she is "better" than me. Gary, for all his bullcrap, has a reason to boast. You and Legend. Aint got shit to say. Ace. I don't get this whole "DI" situation.
What exactly is the problem? Did you just get tired of being ignored because let's face it. Did anyone really miss any of you?
You guys come in saying "we're the best!" Yeah. You both come in here talking shit after having how much time off to heal up and study up on us?
But I'm the coward who doesn't have a cookie cutter promo put together as soon as the time slots are open?
You've ran and hid like a bitch. Now you're "back." To do what? To beat us up? Woooo Soooo scared.
You boys can't even beat someone up properly.
I'm feeling just fine. Matter of fact. I think you guys fixed a kink in my back when you threw me into the ring steps. Seriously. That was your best shot? To drag me out under the ropes and throw me into some steps. In the level of "beating the hell out of someone" you basically just girl slapped me. Thanks for the win by the way. Hey. I give credit where credit is due. You guys have done a bang up job making my record look good even though I really don't care about it. I guess I should send you a fruit basket or something. Wait. You all ready have Miranda. Girl sprays enough fruit smelling stuff to cover up the sweat smell you guys my want something that smells bad to counter act all the girl scent on you boys. I'd send you a basket of day old fish but something tells me that wouldn't help. That could cause some in fighting.
Not with Miranda. I mean after all we all know all three of you have the ability to stink up the place. Hell, two of you vacated. One of you stuck around and did commentary. What? Was there no openings in janitor or referee? Let me guess. To much pride right?
So Ace let me ask you a question. How does it feel to always come in second place? Hell, the last time you came in for tag teams it was just one up above me and that was only because your partner got me eliminated first. I'm not going to dwell on it, but let's look at the facts.
You always lose to the Axis.
Why are you even wanting to do this tag team match thing? I think I know why. You can't cut it solo anymore. Hey. I'm okay with this. As a matter of fact I prefer it. I prefer to see the DI have a fall guy. I prefer to see that when Gary Mac loses this match who he can blame it on since he is the "unbeatable" Gary Mac. All that pressure is on you Ace, but I'm sure you can handle it. It's not like if you lose just once it's going to make you up and quit or anything.
That's Kyle Murphy's gimmick.
You have to tough it out. If you leave then the stable war is uneven! Oh no! Whatever will we all do without the great and glorious Ace?
What we've been doing since you and wet blanket left. Get along just fine. The best part about this is you two think that we don't all know where this is going. It's "all for one and one for all" until one of you gets a shot at that belt your buddy has.
Then it's shit city for all of you.
Gary playing second banana to Miranda?
Please. Do not insult all of our intellects like that. Oh. Shit. I just ruined a possible pay day for you, him, or Legend. Shit. Shit! I gotta quit calling predictable stuff so you guys can surprise everyone!
So "Deuce". Let me ask you this. How are you actually going to beat me? You guys have no real inspiration to do this. As far as I can see you don't have the proper motivation. I think I'm going to have to do this for you. I am going to have to motivate you and your cronies just to save this for what I need.
Yes pawns. I'll make you look good, but just this once. I don't make a habit out of doing stuff for other teams. That's Redd's job if I recall correctly. You remember him? The guy who basically failed you when he tapped first right? Damn. That still has to bother you doesn't it. After all that careful planning by him to get me eliminated and out of your way, "partner", you still ended up losing to Nirvana and Hect. You really need to learn to pick better partners. Particularly ones who don't know what they are talking about. Oh, but what do I know? After all I do nothing that makes any sense to you. Ask yourself this. Is it better to kill a place when it's unpopular or popular? The more money this place makes. The more it attracts "big names" from the past. You know like you. Or as I call them.
I'm not getting involved with your little "beef" with Nirvana because everyone has one. Let's be honest here. Who doesn't want to punch him in the face? Oh yeah. That's right. I did that to. Wait? The Axis will put aside their mutual goals to beat the crap out of each other?
Yep! We'll do it better than you guys can. Seriously. For a former this, that, and the other here in SFT I expected you to hit harder than a two year old. Learn to punch. Please.
What the fuck am I doing here? Well. I'm making this program watchable after all the lovely Canadian humor you so grace us with. You want what's yours? I want you to get it.
I want you to get what you want. I want everyone to get what they want. What they deserve. Kinda like me deserving to get past Nirvana and Hect all those months ago, but someone jumped in and said no. You haven't earned this! You don't belong here!
What's so great about here?
Look around you. The same crap day in and day out. Week after week. Insert this guy into this fight with that guy and eventually we will get a payoff. You don't know why I am here Ace?
The same reason you are. To get what I deserve.
And that is to make this place worth something so when I destroy it I will feel justified.
This isn't about titles. This isn't about records. It's about revenge. A dish best served cold according to Klingons and other philosophers.
Not good enough to destroy Strike Towers?
You (snickers) keep thinking that.
Don't worry. Your legacy will still be what it is. The guy who never got what he deserves. See. The thing about this is I don't care about you, Ace, Legend, or Miranda. I don't want any part of any of you. Mainly due to the fact that I don't give a fuck about you. The more you guys come back. The more attention this place gets. The more attention this place gets. The bigger the audience when it all comes crashing down.
I can't destroy Strike Towers?
Nugget. I already have.
You just don't see the big picture. That's fine. Pawn's rarely do.