Now that was a promo!

AMAZING! SIMPLE SHEER BRILLIANCE!! I have been waiting for months for you to get up off of your ass and actually do something with effort. I can tell deep down that something got to you! Something has finally hit with you! You are back to your A game!

Always knew you had it in you. This is better than Christmas!

Oh were you expecting me to be bitter? To be mad? To talk shit to you for the entire time? No Gary. You see. You did your job perfectly for once and I think that deserves a reward.

So I tell you what. How about I just flat out tell you what to expect?

Seeing as how you know everything this shouldn't come as a surprise to you.

You see...Well. Here. Let me show you since you don't like to be talked down to and I know you would take it that way because you are just a tad bit pissed off.

We see an image of The Hybrid Title. It catches on fire and melts away. All we see now is ashes.

Did I just take what you were wanting to do to my title away from you?

No worries. I didn't destroy the actual belt. I wouldn't want to part with my favorite coffee table balancer just yet. You see. You talk a lot of shit about this belt. That's fine. I get it. You don't like it. Let me ask you something. You ever been placed in a hardcore title match and you just didn't want the belt? That's me with this. That's this situation. All you like to do is just bash something you don't get and you don't understand. Trust me. I think it's bullshit to. I think it's stupid.

So why keep the damn thing?

To piss people like you off into doing exactly what I want you to do. I do love this Morton Downey Jr. type show you've made for yourself. Quite a tribute to trash television of the nineties. You know that era that you have been rehashing from for years. They heyday of gimmicks like you. What can I say. The audience members that we know is either a paid actors or a serious marks for you are quite the cavalcade of losers. Again. Just opinions. Not facts. Opinions. The attempts you make to discredit me by discrediting a non existent division though I find particularly time wasting.

The only person who cares about this title is you. Because all you care about is D.I. holding all the gold and even if you get this. I still have something else that “belongs” to you.

This doesn't belong to anyone. It's a symbol. I don't care if it was Jeff King, Kiba Bunson, or the Pope who came up with this damn thing. This isn't about the title itself. It's about a record. A record that I am out shining on all of you. It must kill you that I am going to go down in history with this belt and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. Fact. You are powerless to stop what I have already done. I think in all honesty you wish that it was Dirk or Dawn would have stayed around instead of me. Then you might have had a chance of intimidating someone with something as stupid as this.

You claim I just talk and talk and talk. Well. I think you would prefer that to what I did last week which was give you a wake up call. You are scared Mac. Scared...I might just be right.

Side note: I would applaud you for insulting Emerson, but to be fair you can't do any better than the best person that constantly insults him...Emerson himself. You do get a cookie for effort.


Okay. Let's talk running gags. That's when you try a blowjob on the run right?

Is it my fault you can't rush greatness by having to do stupid day time talk show rip offs? Oh. Wait. I see what this is. This is you trying to become something after your wrestling career is over in a few weeks. I'm sure Rush Limbaugh will love the competition for the biggest ill informed dumb ass in the world of televised and radio media. I see a big future for you Gary. Because what could possibly go wrong. See if this was a real show. On a real network. You couldn't get away with what you are doing without paying fines. That's the freedom we wrestlers enjoy right?

So it must really suck for you to know that you go back to be a regular person after all of this is done. Oh sure you will be a minor celebrity, but any parties you are invited to will have you be kicked off the guest list once the next round of reality television starts up right? It must be nice to know that you are going to be considered the next big who was that?

Don't worry. I know you Gary. Eventually you will get tired of being ignored. Then you'll kill yourself.

Yet will still be moved to page two after Lindsay Lohan chokes on a pile of blow.

You shouldn't be surprised though. Someone stealing your thunder. I did it first...yeah, but you sucked at it so we improved it.

Must suck huh. Oh wait. What's this? He's starting to get it!...Yes...YES!!! FINALLY!!!...

Oh...damn it! Gary. You fucked up! The World Title isn't part of the plan! I don't need the top belt! Jesus you were making such progress.

Nope. I am sorry to say that your “delusion” of how my plan works has a very distinctive turn. True. I used D.I., The Axis, and am now using the Dead Pac as well. Not for the reasons you think though. See. Let me clue this in on your head. The plan goes all the way back to The Lethal Lottery. All goes back to one instant. I took a deep breath and I looked around.

See you see two plus two and get four.

You see logic. You see what is right in front of your face and not what is waiting in the wings.

I'm not here to become a star Gary. I'm here to do the unthinkable. I am here to destroy SFT in a way that no one has ever thought of. Oh, I'm not gonna marry Shadow's spawn or anything like that. See. I saw what it was that made SFT tick. I don't need to be in a position of power to destroy it Gary. I need to be right where I am right now.

I don't need Shadow to destroy this place.

I don't need to suck up to someone or team up with a group of like minded people to make myself important. I do it out of necessity. Evan knows this. He knows deep down that if my goal and his conflict I am going to go through him. Let me ask you this. If I am not your big concern right now.

Why do you want this?

No. Not the Hybrid. You want the National Title?

If you really don't want me? Why come at me? Are you that determined to prove yourself right? See guys like me, we tend to see things in a odd way. You would say go after this guys weakness. Why? A strength is also a weakness. Despite my opinions of you Gary I am a bit of a fan I have to confess. Because I know your biggest strength. You have to dominate. It's in your nature. If someone disrupts that then you tend to lose steam. I don't want to disrupt that Gary.

I want you at your best.

I want you to be perfect!

It's not about killing the's how you do it. I'm using you. I have it planned for every possible contingency. No matter what you do I still have won.

Yeah. I've won.

What? How have you won? How have you defeated me? Is that what you're wondering Gary? How have I have already won? Simple. So simple. So perfect.

See retire or not. I still win.

I want you to put that mammoth intellect you pride yourself on and ask yourself one question.

One simple point?

What do I have to lose?

What do I have that matters to me? It's not the title. It's not the accolades. What do I have to lose? What does Ataxia have to lose to gain everything he wants?

I'm not playing mind games with you Gary. I promise. I just want you to think. Think hard. What has been the greatest trick ever played in history? What has been the one thing, the only thing, that has been consistent? Come on Gary. You are smart. You are clever. Surely you get part of the plan. You are the only one who has tried. Really tried. To solve the mystery.

I want you to solve it! I want someone else to know! I want someone else to figure it out so I can finally restore my faith that you people are not all stupid ignorant fools.

I won't hold my breath though. You seem to be to caught up in your own little pity party.

You say I don't have the balls to do it? Well. I've already done it.

Do you have the balls to find out? Do you have the testicular fortitude to figure it all out?

I don't think you do. Because when it finally dawns on you that I have already won.

You will hate yourself because you have been manipulated! You have been used! You have been thrown away like a condom used to get to sweetest orgasm ever attained.

It's okay Gary. Some people are born to be used. You are one of them.

Failure. Something you are accustomed to. Oh I thought the plan would fail. Then. Something funny happened. Someone decided to get pissed off. Someone decided to get annoying.


You only have yourself to blame for making it work Gary. I thank you for your hard work though. Now. I get to do something fun. I get to beat the hell out of you without having to worry about a thing. Because no matter the result Gary. I've all ready won.

You've all ready helped me. Thank you.

There is more to come. However. I think you might enjoy this little scene.

I couldn't resist this one last cliché.

We fade in on a set that looks just like the D.I. show. Sitting behind the desk is a figure that looks just like Gary Mac. Except the face is chalk white and the eyes and teeth are red.

Ataxia Mac: Fact or Fiction! What does Ataxia really have planned for me! Dear God! I think he's going to finally figure out that I have him beaten! That I have won! No Gary. See. I would go on and on and on about this rant about you. The truth is no one really wants to hear us jab at each other so I am going to talk to you man to man. You wore my mask once I figured it's only fair I do the same with you. So tell me, has never been, what exactly do you have planned for your finale. Gonna challenge Lionel to a rematch over your loss of the world title? Gonna fight me one more time in a match for something that you really don't care about?

He gets up and walks over to a roster board.

Ataxia Mac: Which one will be the last victim? Which one is the one you chose to take out your legacy upon? Dude JoB? Old rivalry there. One I doubt you want to revisit to this audience. St. Jude. Kyle Murphy. Tell me. Which loser on the roster gets it? Maybe Ace versus you. What a match between one guy who only wants to tag and one guy who is to tired for a real fight? Mac. Seriously is there even a real choice anymore?

All of the names fade away except Ataxia, Miranda, and question marks.

Ataxia Mac: Short of someone coming back for one last match the question is pretty much all ready answered. I know it shouldn't be me. After all Gary. Do you really want me as the end?

We see the roster fade away. Ataxia Mac walks around for a moment and we see thousands upon thousands of empty title belts and championship cups.

Ataxia Mac: The thing is. I got all the time in the world. All you got is a few weeks left. I think we have done this dance as well as can be expected. That is what you put in the message right? That this is all pointless? No it isn't. If you really believed that you would have stayed quiet this week like you did last week. You have nothing left to lose eh Gary? This belt that I have is mine just by your graces? No. It's not. It's by luck, fate, and my own drive. You want to take something from someone. Ask yourself. Just what are you willing to do? Other than play little games? You say I don't respect you Gary. Far from it. I only use those I respect because they are reliable.

He moves towards the camera and the face starts to melt.

Ataxia Mac: I think you will find you and I are a lot alike...

The face melts away to reveal the burlap looking mask of Ataxia.

Ataxia Mac: Under the skin. Good luck Gary. I don't think you will need it. Because either way. I still won. You'll see it soon enough. I would cackle, but I take pity on your poor old ears. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Fade to black...

So as promised. I am going to show you the code.

It's actually two codes in one. See. You were doing this to prove you were intelligent or to get a laugh. Either way. I did it to prove a point that you are an unoriginal turd. So much in fact that all it took was a little bit of editing to make sure you didn't decode it properly.

It took two kids secret code generators to make this. Changed out every other word from code one to one from code two and even switched up a few letters to still make it hard. You didn't like that I proved that it was stupid did you Gary? You didn't like that I showed the world that a five year old's fun thing he does with his friends to play spy is so simple that your little trick doesn't pan out. I could have spent the time decoding yours, but I had better things to do this week. Like live my life. So here is the original message recoded into English.

(This is a great thing for when we were five year olds Gary, but the fact of the matter remains that you are nothing more than a uncreative fuck. There I said it. You want to prove yourself. Stop the games and actually say something worth something. I can play the secret code game to, but in all honesty the people watching this deserve at least some amount of respect. Now go play in traffic little man.)

Now I know there is a new version of that promo out now. Let me guess. The audience didn't get it.

Damn. Must suck not being creative enough for people to understand you. I have 'no' idea how that must feel.

Now let's talk about something that really matters to the folks at home. This match. This one thing you got a big hang up about. Hell. I don't care about Hybrid Rules. Let's play by your rules. Let's play by wrestling rules. I mean I could be a bitch and say as champion I want you in a street fight.

That would really suck to invoke something I have earned right?

This belt is meaningless much like this match, but I think I just kicked you in the brain enough to get this through your head. You have been back how many months and what have you done? You won your coup and yet you are unsatisfied.

So what is left really?

The long walk down the entrance way?

Did Lionel taking the world title from you really steal your thunder?

...Didn't think I'd touch that sore subject did ya?

I mean. I lost a world title match against him. I can accept that, but you. You are suppose to be better than he is and yet you lost. You lost the most biggest trophy in your humble yet amazing career. You lost out on the biggest thing you earned. All to a loser like him.

I think what you hate the most is that I will get more opportunities and I will become World Champion, rather I want to or not. You. You want to wear that belt again. You just don't think you can anymore. That's the real reason why you are coming after me. You want to go out on a high note. Let me tell you something you all ready know. The world sucks. Only by breaking the rules are we ever remembered for being original. I think you got a shot at ending this big streak. Maybe that's your master plan. You want to put a exclamation point on me. You want to stop any push for me to get the world title shot next month. April is the end. You have to go out on top don't you.

So go ahead.

Do it! I want you to do it! I want Gary Mac to rise from the ashes and take out the apathy of Miranda. She is so wanting a challenge that isn't me right now. I can see it in her eyes. She knows. Deep down. I will one day tear her apart. When that day comes what's left for her? Right now the fans scream for a hero.

Am I what a hero should be? Someone in the dark? Someone you can't see yourself being.

You walked a mile in my mask. I walked a mile in your face.

You still don't know me. You still don't get it.

I'm not the hero of this Gary. You are.

They say every great fighter has one good fight left in him. I will dispute many things about you Gary Mac. The one thing no one can dispute is that you are a good fighter.

Do you really wanna waste your last good punch on me?

Am I really the ending of your career?

Get up! Get up and fight for who you are! Go out screaming and saying 'Fuck You!' Do what you have always truly done Gary Mac.


Go big or go the fuck home. The National Title is not a fitting end to a career like yours. Miranda will still be your stablemate. The D.I. will still stand after this. I think you deserve one last shot.

It's something you've earned. So go ahead Gary.


And you can laugh all you want. I won't sue...