No matter what happens. I did it before you could.

How does that feel? How does it feel to know that no matter what you do from here on out in your career you can not say that you got this before that 'weirdo in the mask'. How does humble pie fucking taste Alex?

Oh, but at least you showed up.

Everyone's gonna say...'You didn't beat TGM it didn't count!'...I've all ready beaten TGM. The only difference is he had the good sense for once to take his beating like the bitch he is and walk the fuck home without this. This thing that everyone says proves you are the best.

What a pile of fucking shit. I've been the best since I got here. I will be the best once I dump this pathetic pile of placated plated puss.

You people out there watching right now. You don't need things like this to feel like you are a somebody. These fucking people who tell you you are not good enough don't know what the fuck they are talking about and I am getting so fucking tired of every time I come to a federation I hear this speech of he or she is the best cause she has the belt.

I'm the best before I got it. I'm always the best. Fatty just learned it over the past few days. By the way. I am really enjoying my contract re negotiations. I've been working the same rate without a pay raise for the whole year. Not cause I needed the money. I made more money in CWF than I have here to live off of comfortably. Plus there is my other job. You know since I have a dayjob instead of this bullshit on top of it. Hell. Why do I even need to keep doing this?

Simple. I'm better than all of you.

That's the message. That's the point. I will hear excuse after excuse after excuse...I wonder whose going to come back out of retirement after seeing that shit on Sunday? Maybe Gary Mac is gonna break his word and prove that once and for all...he's still a lying sack of shit!

Just like everyone else who claims they are the best. Just like everyone else who use to carry this thing. Just like the next god awful sack of shit that takes it from me. You are all inferior to me!

Now get the fuck over yourselves and actually do something with your lives that means something instead of chasing other people's fucking expectations.

So let's talk about someone who chases other's expectations like there is no tomorrow.

Alexander Hayes. After this match I am going to get into negotiations to have you to never be booked against me again. This is getting redundant. You have never beaten me. At any-fucking-thing. So why the fuck should you even get this chance to be my next victim.

Because you are Fluffy's little go to dog. Fatty wants to see if it was a fluke or not that I beat you. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...Fluffy. Seriously. Come on. Stop kidding yourself. This little turd should have been flushed a long time ago. In one nigh I did the impossible. I won the tag team titles and stopped two glory hounds from achieving some form of ego boost.

Tell me. Just what would you do with this Alex?

Be the champion everyone thinks you should be or would you actually start being your own man for once in your life. I've wound you up so many times and set you off that you have become the definition of predictability.

The question is are you going to actually stick to your story this time or are you going to go all 'hangman' on me again. Whatever you can throw at me I can tear it apart because you obsess over what other people think about you just so you can belong. Those people. They will turn on you at the drop of the hat. They hate me right now. Someone who pisses them off more shows up and they cheer for me. You want to do this for them? Them who you turned your back on all ready. I don't have a wrestling fan's memory. I remember everything. Face facts Hayes.

You live in a world where someone like me beat someone like you for a goal that you care about and one I spit upon.


This is so hilarious I can barely contain myself. I bet right now you wish you were the dead one and not your friend. Oh well. At least she didn't see you turn into such a failure at your own game. Did I just scratch a nerve?

Oh I hope so. Maybe you might actually show me something different instead of the same old slice of white bread that you are.

Now tell me again just how superior you are to me Hayes.

Where is your proof. Right here in my hands. Come take it if you can.

We see a lavish set before us. A large marble pool that is filled with...chocolate? Coming out of the chocolate is a large fat man with short spiked blonde hair. His skin littered with zits and sweat and over his man parts is...The SFT World Title??? He winks at the camera.
Fat Guy: 'I'm sexy and I know it!'
He starts dancing like a bad fat white man can as we see walking up behind him is Ataxia in all of his costumed glory.
Ataxia: 'Greetings SFT. I did something today that I thought I could never do. I found something more disgusting that Mr. Fluffy. Meet my friend 'Fabulous' Fredrico Fernandez. Say hi Freddy.'
'Fabulous' Fredrico Fernandez: 'Hi...This feels sooooooo goood.'
Ataxia: 'I am sure it does. I am sure it feels just so dreamy to have gold around your 'bare essentials' while you bathe in ninety percent cocoa. I bet the audience is really enjoying this wonderful experience. Don't worry kiddies. I'll make sure your precious puritan parents just see the censor bar version of it. I guess it's time for me to explain the plan of the week isn't it? What does Ataxia have planned for SFT? Well I could bore you with some stupid story from real life or I guess I could steal something from fan fiction dot net and be like dear Lionel and X-fractured, but I actually want you all to get something out of this wonderful promo. I want you to think for once. I know it's hard for people to believe, but I know you are all not idiots. You fans of SFT must realize that this is all shit that is half assed and thrown together with duct tape and prayers in the hopes you won't realize that this is the worst wrestling you will ever see on television. This whole program is a pile of crap just waiting for someone to set it on fire. Oh I hear Lionel whining about how he's going to do it because no one sent him a get well card. Because none of us wanted you to get well. Well all wanted you to die. Because for once it would save us from having to listen to your too tall ass complain and then endure your 'creative' promos which we all know you've been ghost writing for someone else for months. It's like you never left...because no one really cared you were here anyway. 'Well I beat you Tax.' Yeah. Apparently you can do something Alexander Hayes can't...shock and awe. You can probably tie your shoes to. So that's two things that you can do over that loser.'
'Fabulous' farts in the chocolate. Ataxia looks down at him for a moment.
Ataxia:'A perfect way to end a promo. On that note I give you how to real world views SFT. A fat no talent loser wearing a belt that has no meaning. On that note...enjoy your lives losers. The Age of Ataxia gives us another glorious though provoking lecture tomorrow. Tune in. I will get your attention...AHAHAHAHAHAHA...'
Fade to white...